Thursday, October 1, 2015

Emmys 2015 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

Get a beverage, there are many..


Lena Headey!
It's pretty, but the proportions are all off, the hair is weird, and it looks a little bit like she's been caught in a net.

Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy!
All the details just seem to be a little too big. The chains are off-putting and the buttons on his tux jacket are kind of hilariously large.

Christina Hendricks and Geoffrey Arend!
And on these two, everything seems to be just a little too long. I am kind of digging the 1976 Wedding Guests attire, though.

Sofia Vergara!
Take it in a quarter of an inch in the bust, let it out a quarter of an inch in the hips.

Joe Manganiello!

Jacket is too small, pants are just a tiny bit too short.

Padma Laksmi!
This is the wrong size.

Titus Burgess!
I'm pretty sure this jacket is just small enough to be uncomfortable on him. Also, the fabric is off.

Christine Baranski!
Slightly too big in the top, slightly too long.

Kate McKinnon!
This dress doesn't actually fit. Also the styling is a little ho-hum.

Matt LeBlanc!
Looks like Frankie the Tailor (who is a very bad man) didn't do a great job with the pants.

January Jones!
Real talk: I think she's sort of killing it. EXCEPT that it's so long she no longer has feet and that weird fabric wang looks awkward. RIP January Jones' feet.

Judith Light!
I love the idea of this but the execution and the skirt fabric are extremely not right and also - say it with me - too long.

Jamie Alexander!
Brings new meaning to the term "wet look."

Penelope Ann Miller!
It's a pretty dress in an unfortunate color with 9 AM meeting hair and no lipstick. Everything is just slightly off the mark,

Jane Lynch!
She looks fantastic and everything fits like a dream, I just hate this tux coat.

Holland Taylor!
Holland Taylor decided to drop by the Emmys on her way to her favorite niece's champagne bridal shower. "Well, I'm already wearing a dress," she thought, "Why not?"

Laila Robbins!
It's a pretty dress, it's just that it looks like a map of the human nervous system. ALSO .... here it comes.... COULD USE A NECKLACE.

Melora Hardin!
Here's the Meh cape dress. It's fine, it's just that the length of the cape is awkward She definitely dipped that thing in her soup all night. (They serve soup at the Emmys, obvs.)

Selenis Leyva!
This dress is gorrrrrrrrrrgeous but it's too small in the rib cage and bust for her, which is a damn shame. Also, Selenis, I don't know who is doing your hair but fire them. Also fire the person who chose that lipstick. It's like your body is going to the Emmys but your head just wants to watch The Craft a few hundred times.

Zoe Kazan!
It's a schooner!

Regina King!
Do you guys know how I love Regina King? I absolutely adore her and I was just so happy when she won. I have been trying to talk myself into loving this dress but I'm afraid it isn't working. The problem is how stiff the skirt is and how heavy it looks - it just sorta looks like she's in a bell. Love the shoes.

Elisabeth Moss!
Tonight the part of Reese Witherspoon will be played by Elisabeth Moss.

Kate Mulgrew!
I love everything about this except for the part where it looks like she's wearing a bag.

Emma Roberts!
Pretty dress, interesting styling, unfortunate color. I don't know about you but all I see are eyes and eyebrows.

Tatiana Maslany!
Chic and sexy tux, okaaaaaaaayy fit, good makeup, terrible shoes, could use a necklace. Actually, could specifically use Emma Roberts' necklace.

Chelsea Peretti!
Her dress looks like it got violently murdered by a tree. Fear not, till Birnam Wood come to - oh crap.

Kristen Schall!
Great dress undone by hair and makeup. I feel like she's just in the dressing room trying this on. Also, this pose is HILARIOUS. What are you doing!?

Naomi Watts and Liev Schrieber!
It's annoying that even when they are clearly not trying they still look better than a good percentage of the attendees.

Lea DeLaria!
Very handsome, love this tux on her and those shoes are awesome. If the pants were tailored, this would be perfect.

Gina Rodriguez!
Gorgeous styling but alas, the dress is wearing her.

Anna Chlumsky!
Great hair. This dress looks like something on Pinterest.

Gwendoline Christie!
Beautiful, 20s-inspired glamour, in entirely the wrong color.

Natasha Lyonne!
It's great until we get to her thighs and the dress starts crying.

Morena Baccarin!
You've heard of day-to-night fashion, now meet night-to-nightgown.

Jackie Cruz!
I can't really tell, but I have a hunch that maybe it's a little too low cut and a little too highly slit. Maybe? Who knows with all that beautiful hair.

Jessica Pare!
I just keep waiting for her to wow me, but this tribute to The Bachelor is not doing it for me. Also, Jess, babe, PLEASE stop doing that harsh middle part.

Danielle Brooks!
This one is a heartbreaker because there is so much that is going right but the neckline is so wrong for her. I would love to see this in a strapless instead of this flimsy halter situation. That would be so lovely.

Helen McCrory (seen here with Damian Lewis)!
Venetian blinds in a bordello.

Beth Fowler!
The head and the shoes are great. I would love to see this with the change of fabric seam raised about three inches and the skirt going floor length. Right now it's looking a little mother of the bride but I think she could go a bit sexier.

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