Thursday, May 7, 2015

Met Ball 2015: The Meh!

You guys, my name is Meg so I almost always type "Meg" instead of "Meh." I just wanted to share that with you.

The Meg Meh

Allison Williams!
This was definitely the year when a lot of dresses looked better from the back. This one is kind of exciting from the back, though that sudden shift at the knees made me nervous so I found a pic from the front and...
... yeah, it definitely looks like she is wearing this dress inside out.

Jessica Chastain!
Absolutely perfect and completely boring.

Kate Hudson!
Beautiful and the silhouette evokes the theme but, again, boring. You know what's NOT boring!? The lady in the lace Charlie Brown shirt in the background. Thank you oh so much to Reader Kate for spotting that thing of wonder. Lace Charlie Brown Shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cher (seen here with Marc Jacobs)!
What fresh hell is this? Why is Cher wearing her "everyday" hair and a dress inspired by holographic coffee stains? Why is Marc Jacobs wearing a standard tux with standard shiny shoes? The only interesting thing about this is that perhaps Marc is carrying the makeup Cher forgot to apply in his little leather case?  This is me:

Keri Russell!
There's feathering your nest and then there is wearing feathers over your uterus. I mean, come on. Those shoes though... wow!

Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union!
Okay, deep breath. First of all, I love that Dwyane Wade came dressed as the Archduke of Miami. It's an absolutely gorgeous look ruined by the hem on his pants, those shoes, and the absence of socks. I know that No Socks is quite the thing with the menfolk, but in my opinion you need to have a beautifully hemmed pant to make that work. And not those shoes. As for Gabrielle, perfect color, gorgeous dress, love her makeup. BUT. The hair seems off and the dress doesn't exactly fit her well. Also: long sleeves in May? Perhaps it it's cold in here. There must be some Clovers in the atmosphere.

Selena Gomez!
This is another one that looks better from the side/back.
From the front it looks like a window treatment over a strapless bra. It fits well and her head is flawless, but she's got tassels coming off her armpits. Selena, listen to me: you look gorgeous in white. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Lady Gaga!
Lady Gaga is your scariest ballet teacher. 

Katie Holmes (seen here with Zac Posen)!
Stiff, stiff, stiff, and boring. All of it.

Amal Clooney (seen here with some dude)!
It's pretty but the tiers appear overworked and somewhat snakelike, if the snake had some sort of ruffle-attack. Her date looks great, though! Who IS that guy?

Olivia Munn!
This is mostly fabulous, honestly, I just don't like the sleeves being split all the way down. I think it looks awkward. I hope to god she didn't have to try to eat soup with those things on.

Carey Mulligan!
In terms of garment bags, it's a very fancy garment bag. In terms of motocycle hair, it's very upscale motorcycle hair. In terms of the Met Ball, it's a very nice outfit for the Golden Globes.

The Olsens!
You guys, their looks are so boring and unremarkable this year that I actually asked two people if they had skipped the event. I am forever confused about which is which, so I'm not even going to try. Right Twin's fussy dress is at odds with the yoga hair whereas I am in love with Left Twin's approach of "Screw it, I'm just going to wear this giant coat. I'm not even going to shower." Love you, Left Twin.

Karolina Kurkova!
Oh dear. Karolina is usually one of my favorites at the Met Ball, but this just smacks of one of those racist Sexy Geisha costumes we see in the Halloween roundup. It's beautiful and fits her like a dream but still - a major letdown.

Okay, so the first time I saw this, I thought perhaps she was lifting up a tier of her dress so the photogs could get a good look at how she was celebrating Star Wars Day. 
Unfortunately, no. She is actually wearing the Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey Commemorative Plate as a dress.

Julianne Moore!
Also celebrating Star Wars Day, Julianne Moore came as Black Tie Lord Vader... 

Anne Hathaway!
.,.. And Annie apparently reached out to Ralph Lauren for help as he was her only hope. Buns not included.

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