Met Ball 2015: The Good!

My dear readers, last night was fashion's high holiday: The Met Ball/Gala/Whatever It's Called This Time Around. The name of the game here is high drama, theatrical couture either in step with the theme or so completely amazing it defies the theme and becomes its own moment.

This year's theme was China: Through the Looking Glass and I am here to tell you that no one came in anything remotely close to Eastern Alice in Wonderland and I am DISAPPOINTED. Not one Cheshire Cat to be seen. Let's get into it, yes?

THE GOOD

Zendaya!

Let's start here in case we have some newbies joining us. Objectively, this is not something that should go in the Good pile. BUT this is Met Ball. She looks fabulous and outrageous and demands attention. I have no idea who this girl is but she is killing it.

Helen Mirren!

Speaking of killing it, YOWZA. This is the other end of the killing it spectrum - whereas Zendaya (also seen in the background of this photo) is demanding attention with an over-the-top ensemble, Dame Helen knows your attention will be on her as every single thing about her ensemble is exactly perfect and on point. We saw a lot of red and gold on the carpet, but none so elegant as this. Well, almost none...

Fan Bingbing!

I say almost none because Fan Bingbing exists and is the perfect embodiment of elegance. Bow down, peasants.

Justin Bieber!

Don't pretend he doesn't look fabulous. 

Taraji P. Henson!

Okay, sure she Could Use A Necklace and you might say that this is tame for the Met Ball. And normally I would agree with you! But! Think about what an impact Cookie Lyon has had on pop culture this year and how different this simple, elegant, polished look is from the over-the-top glam of Cookie and observe a very careful approach to self-marketing by Taraji Henson. It doesn't hurt that she's absolutely stunning.

Karen Elson!

This  may be a little standard and on the nose but I am slayed. RIP me. Love this.

Hannah Bagshawe (seen with real live human Muppet)!

She is playing her part as Unwitting Red Carpet Darling to the hilt. She's 50%  Normal Person Hair and Makeup and 50% fantastic Valentino that hints at the theme without banging you over the head. Go girl!

 Katy Perry (with Jeremy Scott)!

 Love it. It's completely appropriate for the event and completely appropriate for Katy Perry. I wish she wouldn't always go so costumey with the accessories, but I have come to accept that as her way. Also, I'm totally into this matchy matchy thing she's been doing with her dudes lately - it's super fun and totally works with her brand and image.

Uma Thurman!

This is your periodic reminder that Uma Thurman is not mortal.

Janelle Monae!

Dramatic, alluring, and perfect. It's like she took her standard look and applied the Met Ball filter to it. I live for her red carpet looks. 

Lizzy Caplan!

Unexpectedly stunning. Old Hollywood glamour.

Michael B. Jordan!

I chose this shot over the full body so you could get a better look at this suit. This is exactly what men should be striving for at Met Ball - it's thematically appropriate and fashion forward without veering into Marc-Jacobs-in-his-pajamas territory. Gorgeous fit, expertly worn. This kid is light years ahead of most of the other men who walked the red carpet last night. 

Sarah Jessica Parker!

The grand duchess of the Met Ball always plays it exactly on the line. The dress is gorgeous and on point and the Philip Treacy headdress is extraordinary. 

and finally, the big winner of the night....

Rihanna!

What did we say the Met Ball was about? High drama....

...Theatrical....

...Couture. Maybe she reminds you of Big Bird, or Belle from Beauty and the Beast, or an omelette, or pizza, or a condom or whatever else... you cannot deny that she BROUGHT IT. Well done, RiRi. That is EXACTLY what we're looking for out of the Met Ball.