Television Comes to South Philadelphia

My dear readers, my roommate and I got cable and reliable internet recently. This is the first time we've had tv since moving into our house three years ago. I had come from a tv-heavy house and was looking forward to the break. I think she was humoring me. What I found out during the time we didn't have tv was just how many times I could watch the movies and shows on DVD we already owned. The answer: a lot. But we decided to take the plunge a month or so ago and I have learned some things.

1. I will watch almost anything on the Food Network as long as Robert Irvine is not involved. And sometimes I will watch the Robert Irvine shows also.

He is the physical embodiment of the Uh Oh Feeling for me.

1a. The Prairie Woman has a cooking show. It's not awesome but I still love her.

2. I will watch any iteration of House Hunters and yell at the entitled jerks who are looking at properties. I now have the words "en suite bathroom" "detached house" and "stainless steel appliances" burned into my brain. I'm a little concerned that my house has none of these.

3. Modern Family is well written and consistently funny. Parks and Rec is much better than it used to be and has made me cry more than once. The Mindy Project is entirely disappointing. Chopped is on all the time, but it's always a Thanksgiving episode. 

4. As it turns out, I can save money by watching football at home instead of at the bar. Not that I am surprised, it's just nice to remember that.

5. I am mystified and amazed by the ability to fast forward through commercials. DVR is insane and great. 

6. On the subject of DVR, I didn't realize you had to make difficult decisions. Last night we had to decide between taping Breaking the Faith and Home Alone. We chose BtF because we are obsessed with it. 

Sorry, Kevin. You cannot hold a candle to my obsession with prophet-based religious sects.

7. It occurred to me only the other day that having television means that I can watch awards shows the way they were meant to be watched: at home, in formal wear, eating pizza, yelling at the television.

7a. And I can watch hours upon hours of red carpet coverage. You're welcome in advance.

8. Because I was watching television, I was alerted to the fact that Michael Buble does a Christmas Special, and apparently his guests this year are my girls Mary J. Blige and Mariah Carey. What are MJB and Mariah doing on Michael Buble's Christmas Special? 

Basically, goodbye productivity. It was nice knowing you.