Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Tony Awards 2013: The Bad!

No, seriously. Get a cup of tea - you will want comfort.


Judith Light!
I'm not sure who told Judith Light that white was her color, but I'll have their heads. Also, the hem on that dress is a sin. Additionally, I understand the desire for a little breeze on the armpits but the cutouts are TOO MUCH. Ugh, ANGela. You're killing me.

Valisia LaKae!
One rose on the shoulder: okay. A rose on the shoulder and a rose on the waist: well, that's a lot. A rose on the shoulder, a rose on the waist, a rose on the knee: now you're just being silly. This is the stiffest, silliest dress I think I've ever seen.

Laura Osnes!
Question: What in the name of Ascot Opening Day is happening here!? Answer: Far, far too much.

Kathleen Turner!
Kath, I love you but this is a matronly, ill-fitting, unflattering mess. (Props to the girl behind Kath for being able to stand even though she apparently has no feet. Proud of you, lady!)

Holland Taylor!
And that's why you never sit in the limo. Oh Holland. the color is all wrong, the shiny fabric and unfortunate pulls on the hem makes it look cheap, and the matchy-matchy shoes and bag do nothing to help matters. Girl, I adore you, but this is all wrong.

Megan Hilty (seen here with her very handsome boyfriend)!
Oof. It looks like a mermaid threw up on her.

Sally Field!
Not the most flattering shape for our gal Sal. Color is great, of course. But why do I feel like she's going to get drunk and flash me her boob later in the night? Don't you boob threaten me, Sally Field!

Krysta Rodriguez!
This dress is confusing and not at all flattering, other than the color. And why is it piped in teal? And what is happening with the big curtain shoulder? And why is it too tight in the abdomen? And why did she choose this dress out of every dress in the world? The mind reels.

Tom Sturridge (seen here with Sienna Miller)!
You want to see me angry? Wear a hat and a face full of sad scruff to the Tonys. Works like a charm!


Debra Messing!

No! Debra! No! We have discussed this: black is not your color so please refrain. A topknot is not your friend so please refrain. Let's add to the list: a twee little mid-century dress does absolutely nothing for your figure, especially if it's hitting below the knee. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?

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