Met Ball 2013: The Meh!

Welcome back! Let's fasten our seatbelts for...

THE MEH!

Miley Cyrus!

I'm not going to lie to you: I kind of love this. She's bringing 1995 Sharon Stone realness and it WORKS. She landed in the Meh today because while I love the idea, the execution could have been much better. The underdress is too big, making the whole thing look wonky. Also, I get what she was doing with the spiked hair, but it's difficult for a girl with fine hair to pull that off. Still: A for effort, kid.

Nicole Richie!

How fabulous is this dress!? Too bad it's totally wrong for the event. Again, with the hair, I totally get what she was doing it just didn't work out the for the best. Makeup, on the other hand, is some of the best of the night.

Sarah Jessica Parker!

Now THAT is a dress you wear to the Met Ball. Yes, girl, yes. Unfortunately, the styling goes all wrong when we get to top and bottom. Great idea to have a Philip Treacy "mohawk" if you absolutely must observe the ridiculous theme but the hairstyle with it is all wrong. Also, those shoes are a freaking crime and should be outlawed. EW.

Kate Bosworth!

Totally fabulous dress. It's just too bad she looks like a poorly assembled Bratz doll. (PS, how do we feel about the attractive man in the gold shoes and coat sans shirt without Ms. Bosworth?)

Jessica Alba!

Ugh. Terribly boring, especially considering her amazing showing at last year's Met Ball. Somehow this looks like a formal version of something the In Living Color fly girls would wear. Maybe it's the weird middle bra top thing?

Ivanka Trump!

True facts: if the skirt wasn't quite so "witchy" (in the mid-90s crinkle skirt sense of the word) and we weren't trying quite so hard with the spiky cuffs, this would have been a homerun for me. I love the navy and green pairing. I love the navy streaks in her hair. I love how casual she is about wearing some very serious shoes. SO CLOSE.

Jennifer Lawrence!

Prom Part I: Enchantment Under the Sea (could use a necklace)

Kylie Minogue!

Prom Part II: Secret Garden (could use a necklace)

Ginnifer Goodwin!

The dress is kind of pretty, maybe, but it doesn't do anything for her. The masked avenger makeup certainly isn't helping. Here's my edit: ditch the vertical stripe, keep the cap sleeves but soften the neckline slightly by making the contrast at the neckline the same gold-studded black fabric as the bottom. Then vigorously apply a cotton ball to the eyelids. Keep the dark brows. Now you don't look quite so much like you're mad at your parents for buying generic macaroni and cheese.

Claire Danes!

A pretty little snoozefest.

Marion Cotilliard!

I don't understand how so much could be going on with this look and yet I feel like I'm looking at nothing.

Taylor Swift!

Why do I feel like she's secretly auditioning for Game of Thrones with this dress? Either that or secretly communicating to me via the mouth around her bust. WEIRD. That makes me miss the twee virginal dresses she recently ditched.

Emma Roberts!

Saggy and boring. Please go home and try again, this time with the appropriate undergarments and a better fitting dress. And maybe some accessories. And a better hairstyle.

Ashley Greene!

WRONG. This Marchesa is not your friend, ladyloo.

Cameron Diaz!

The skirt is too tight, the hair is too severe (color and style), and that belt really freaks me out. Great color for her, though, and I am loving this poncho-cape thing she's got going on. Very dramatic.