Monday, November 12, 2012

Egos Like Hairdos

I know this statement will not shock you, my dear readers, but sometimes I get a little full of myself. Sometimes I believe my own press. Sometimes I get a little cocky. And during those times I realize that I have to shut it down as quickly as possible lest I become permanently annoying. And so I present to you...

Proven Ways to Get Your Ego in Check

* Hang out with a baby. Seriously. Babies don't give a shit if you directed a play or wrote a novel or won a Nobel Prize. Babies care if you are paying attention to them, making sounds they like, feeding them, and keeping them dry. If you fail at any of these tasks, babies will scream in your face until you feel like the stupidest and most useless person alive. BOOM! Ego in check! Note: this is the cutest and most satisfactory way to get your ego in check.

* Manual labor. I was feeling pretty impressed with myself when I woke up yesterday. When I went to bed last night, I was feeling like a normal person with a lot still to learn in this world. How did that happen? A) I held a baby for a while who was definitely not impressed by me. B) I helped my dear sweet darling friend Mix pull up all of the adhesive linoleum tile in her back bedroom. It was difficult, we were both sweating and cursing and sore, and we ended the task absolutely covered in flooring glue. BOOM! Ego in check!

* Try to do something new. Hey, you're feeling like the queen of the world! You're awesome at everything you do! Well then the time is ripe, my friend, to attempt to crochet for the first time or to learn to play guitar - oh! but without giving up in the first half hour. If you're anything like me, you will immediately feel dumb. BOOM! Ego in check!

Do you have any other tips for deflating one's head? Let's hear them in the comments!

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