But then... oh, but then I started looking around just for funsies. And I got a bunch of emails and links from friends who know I live for this stuff. The truth is, I cannot resist! Before we get to the roundup, check out what reader Sabiha sent my way: Fuck No Sexist Halloween Costumes. This is totally amazing and will make you mad for minutes on end! And now, without further ado.... this year's most ridiculous Sexy ____ Halloween Costumes! (Note: vaguely NSFW)
Sexy Bunch of Grapes!
Oh, but say you want to go to a party with your friend as a team costume? Why not...
Sexy Bert and Ernie!
What better way to destroy childhood innocence than through crop tops and tiny, tiny overalls? Just think: if these girls makeout it'll be like Bert and Ernie, nighttime bedroom edition! (Memo to Bert and Ernie: you are not fooling ANYONE with your separate twin beds. Puh-lease.)
Not feeling the Sesame Street vibe? Then, why not...
Okay, maybe video games are a little too specific. How about something more universal?
Want something a bit more psychologically terrifying?
Sexy Alex DeLarge!
Without the eye makeup it's a half step away from Sally Bowles. Even so, I think this costume can get you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence. Or something. Sheesh.
Sexy Michael Jackson!
Somewhere in England, Tim Burton is laughing and counting his money. In that same place, I'll bet it's safe to say that HBC has refused to wear this getup at least three times. Stay strong, HBC!
Okay, my dear readers. I need you to prepare yourself for what is about to happen. It's pretty upsetting, honestly, and also unbelievably funny.
Are you ready?
I really don't think you are ready.
Last chance to turn back.
Okay. Brace yourselves....
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Just for a moment, imagine you are at a Halloween party tonight and THIS walks in. Just think about what your face would do if this walked into a party you were attending. I'm pretty sure I'd look like this:
And I would never recover.
Finally, as a palate cleanser, I offer you...