2015 Golden Globes: The Bad!

When it was bad, it was oh so bad. I don't have a LOT to say about most of these, honestly. Buckle up, my dear readers. There are some truly cringeworthy frocks ahead!

THE BAD!

Amy Adams!

The gown itself is fairly basic and not terribly offensive. I'm having major problems with this color, though. Periwinkle is not your friend, Amy Adams! And those dye to match shoes aren't doing you any favors either. Ugh, every time I see this gown I get more and more angry because the fit is so lovely and it's just RUINED by color.

Taylor Schilling!

This is the gown equivalent of the I Have No Idea What I'm Doing dog. 

Emily Blunt!

I hate the top of this so, so much. It looks so unfinished and unflattering. Hate. Haaaaaate. (Love the jewelry.)

Zosia Mamet!

Hahahahahah WUT. No, go home. This is embarrassing.

Lana Del Rey!

Priscilla Presley IS the Little Mermaid at Studio 54! She wants to be part of your disco world!

Robin Wright!

This feels half-assed and looks sloppy and boring. I think I liked it better when she was pretending to be David Bowie minus feet.

Tina Fey!

Here it is: Tina Fey's first joke of the night. Seriously, though, cut it at that awkward balloon hem and add a necklace and some opaque black tights and wear it to the Independent Spirit Awards. THAT would be adorable.

Maggie Gyllenhaal!

Too tight in the waist, too small in the bust, a bad color for her, and those horrible darts make her look like the owner of the biggest nipples in Hollywood. This whole thing is a mess.

Natasha Lyonne!

Needs a bigger blowout, a far more interesting bag, and a dress that fits.

Lupita Nyong'o!

My dear readers, you know this pains me. That dress, though - oy. I get what we're going for but I hate it a lot. From far away it looks like the dress gives up about halfway down. Close up, there are fake flowers all over her torso.

Patricia Arquette!

Oh girl, oh no. No no no.

Sienna Miller!

It doesn't fit and it looks unfinished. Sienna, I don't know who told you you were edgy but I wish you hadn't believed them. Just once I'd love to see you in showstopping glamour.

Dakota Johnson!

Look at her trying so hard. Who made you try this hard, lady? Simple is your friend. Liberace's bedroom curtains are not.

Melissa McCarthy!

Fun fact: the technical term for what is around her neck is "pussy bow." I dislike pussy bows. I dislike this look for Melissa McCarthy. By A LOT. You guys know how I love a puffed sleeve, but the spinster principal look at the Golden Globes is a hard NO. 

Chrissy Teigen!

The overworked pink crochet codpiece is one of the funniest and perhaps most tragic things we saw on the red carpet. 

Kerry Washington!

I did not know they made dresses out of hammered tin! 

OMFG Kristen Wiig!

Guys, why is Kristen Wiig dressed as a 1970s teenage bride? I want to know what events led her to putting this dress on her body and keeping it on. On the Patton scale, this is a SOLID 8.

2015 Golden Globes: The Meh!

It's that special time where we take stock of what almost worked, what bored me to tears, what was just too terribly expected.

THE MEH

Lena Dunham!

There is a lot wrong with this - the fit in the waist, the hemline, the SHOES, but there is also a lot right. I love this color on her, I love the neckline, I adore her hair this color and length, and you guys - did you see the back of this dress? The back is amazing.

Andrew Rannells is also amazing. Look at that skin.

Kate Hudson!

I'm a little bit done with Kate Hudson doing edgy white gowns for a while. It was a cute little "kiss off" after she and Jeter didn't get married but now I'm bored and want to see something more from her. I also think the styling for this look is far too understated and brings the whole thing down. I mean, even if you want to keep the gym hair, at least throw a couple of enormous emeralds in your ears or something.

Edited to Add: Apparently I mean A-Rod. I am really sorry, Reader Annie!

Uzo Aduba!

Hair is great, makeup is good, pattern is lackluster and that neckline should never be on that woman. Uzo, you deserve to shine and this dress just doesn't draw the eye.

Jenna Dewan-Tatum!

Fancy napkin with Courtney Cox hair and the wrong bag.

Katie Holmes!

Look, we're all proud of you for growing your hair out but it's too long for this style. Also the dress is a real snooze and your eye makeup needs to decrease by 40%. But welcome back to Hollywood, girl!

La Klum!

This is some straight up Vanna White 1987 realness. Honestly? I don't hate it.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus!

Tell me something I don't know, Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Allison Janney!

She looks great and the styling is on point, it's just that this dress appears to be strangling her and/or it's a large piece of fabric that is simply dripping off of her neck. To quote the inimitable Tim Gunn, this concerns me.

Laura Prepon!

She looks great but this is definitely an upscale Morticia Addams costume.

Alison Williams!

Boy, there sure was a lot of red on that red carpet, huh? I don't hate this dress, but it does seem stiff and unflattering. This is a major case of CUAN. Also, guys, I hate everything that is happening on her head. I just don't think this look is playing to her strengths.

Joanne Froggatt!

I loooooove this dress. It is beautifully tailored and totally different from anything else we saw on the red carpet. I love to look at this photo from just her shoulders down because the Sienna Miller circa 2003 hair drags this look from Fab to Drab.

Can we just have a moment for the Fab to Drab comment? I don't know why I wrote that but I'm leaving it because it's cracking me up.

Kate Mara!

While the belt is hilarious and the abdominal ruffles are perplexing, this is about a hundred and fifty times better than Kate Mara usually looks so she gets to be in the Meh, I guess. Underwhelmed congratulations, Kate.

Katherine Heigl!

She looks like a tabletop figurine. A tabletop figurine that is trying too hard. I think if it had a different bottom third and the neckline was raise about an inch and a half, this would be pretty great. But look at allllllll that real estate without jewelry. Girl, if you're going wear a deep scoop, throw some ice on the clavicle.

Jessica Lange!

It seems the fit is off by just enough to make me stop and look at this photo for too long. Also, I don't understand that black sash being positioned a couple inches under the seam. And for shame, Jessica, you sat down in the limo. Tsk tsk tsk.

Edie Falco!

Our Edie has problems choosing gowns that fit. This also happens to be ugly and unflattering. It's better than you did last year but barely. You tried, I guess.

Catherine Zeta-Jones!

It's fine, I guess, it's just boring. And could use a necklace for sure. GUYS! I am so hating this center part trend! UGH.

Anna Faris!

Pretty nightgown the color of her skin.

Jennifer Aniston!

Oh look! Jen wore a black gown! Quelle surprise. Unfortunately this neckline gives her boobs a decidedly football shape, the cumberbund is awkward, and the slit almost became our next national nightmare. You deserve better than this, Jen.

Salma Hayek!

Somewhere there is a bridal suite missing its duvet cover. Is it me or is our Salma sort of channeling a little girl playing dress up? Maybe it's the bag.

2015 Golden Gobes: The Good!

That was QUITE a Golden Globes, was it not? Thanks to camera angle and slit length, we almost did a visual gynecological exam on Jen Aniston, thanks to extreme closeups we know a lot about all the winners' jawlines, and thanks to the winners we got a lot of excellent speeches. We also kicked the awards season off with a fashion bang. There was much to see and I'm sure many opinions in direct opposition to my own. I'll warn you now: I was merely whelmed by much of what I saw last night so the Meh is BIG. That's tomorrow's problem, though. Today we revel in beauty and glamour.

THE GOOD

Quvenzhané Wallis!

Here at Way Too Shay we do not critique children. All we say is what is true: she is absolutely adorable and that is a fantastic outfit. Sorry Ricky Gervais said your name wrong, kiddo. He's just jealous that you've been nominated for a Golden Globe and an Oscar before age 12.

Helen Mirren!

Fabulous. It fits perfectly, it's exactly the right length, it's SUPER COOL, and it's a spectacular color on her. She got it just right.

Anna Kendrick!

Pretty and girly. I could have done without the middle part, but this dress really does look like a dream.

Felicity Jones!

I am all about the construction on this dress. I am most impressed that for a fairly modest dress it doesn't come off as stuffy or prudish. Also - this is the most animated background of any GG picture ever. Look at Wes Anderson back there, looking just like Beck as usual.

Amal Clooney!

Okay, I do agree with Reader Susan that the gloves seem inappropriately large, but other than that this is straight glamour and drama. Dramour.
[Sidebar: Is anyone else surprised that she took his name? I checked the interwebz like 20 times to make sure she's really going by Clooney now. End sidebar.]

Christine Baranski!

No one in the world is having as much fun as Christine Baranski. Nor should they be! This dress is perfect, the fit is flawless, the accessories are great, hair is exactly what her hair does. Beautifully done, CB!

Naomi Watts!

Some blondes can do this banana color. Naomi Watts is such a blonde, and good for her for knowing that! I'd like to hike that dress up half an inch, but other than that it's simply gorgeous. I am living for this necklace.

Oprah!

She looks fabulous. This dress fits gorgeously and I love the beadwork, especially how it accentuates her figure. I am so loving that cocktail ring.

Reese Witherspoon!

Simple, gorgeous, this is what a movie star wears. However...say it with me: Could Use A Necklace.

Jessica Chastain!

We've spoken before about the use of cleavage in lieu of or in addition to a necklace, yes? Jessica is illustrating that point perfectly. I think this is a personal best for her. She looks stunning and relaxed. I guess she's getting the hang of being at these things!

Viola Davis!

This is what I've been wanting from Viola Davis. She looks stunning. I love this dress, I love that cuff, I love everything happening on her head, I love that she looks like a giant with that tiny little woman in the background!

Diane Kruger!

It's a skosh tight in the ribcage, but let's not quibble. Girlfriend owns every red carpet she walks.

Kate Beckinsale!

The skirt proved to be slightly more sheer than expected, but no doubt about it this was one of the more fabulous looks of the night. And this is where styling comes in: this dress, encrusted with sparkle up top and all sorts of bedroom curtains on the bottom in a shade I would call taupe, can turn from Golden Globes to Golden Girls fast. But Kate has youthful makeup, an edgy bag, bigger hair that is not attempting to cover her neck or forehead, and dark nails - all of which keep this on the younger end of the spectrum. If her hair had been down and to the side, big dark eyes, red or silver nails, and a black or silver baguette clutch I definitely would be rolling my eyes and saying that she's trying too hard. But no, this is just wonderful.

Ruth Wilson!

I am fully aware that some of my dear readers find this dress to a hideous Ric Rac concoction but you guys can go suck a lemon. I love it. I love the colors, I love how geometric it is, I think it's cool and eye-catching. I am not sure why we are putting a big slash across her crotch, though.

Tina Fey!

I wish I could find a better photo but I am living for Tina Fey's lady tux. It was everything.

Allison Tolman!

I love this silhouette on her so much. I promise I won't ding you if you just keep showing up in riffs on this look, Allison! I'm also going to actively look for something in this silhouette for my next fancy shindig since Allison and I appear to share a body type.

Ava DuVernay!

Ava was my favorite of the night. This dress is amazing, the color is stunning, hair is fantastic, love the earrings, love the cape, love the fit. I gasped when I saw her. And that's what I love most about awards season - the real showstoppers.

Holy Crap! It's Awards Season!

My dear readers, awards show season kicks off this weekend with the Golden Globes. I KNOW. It feels soon, it feels like perhaps we are under-prepared for such things. It's going to be okay.

Firstly, I am wiping the slate clean. I am clearing all red carpet wanderers of Probation. Welcome back, Sarah and Debra and Kaley and Julie and Julianne (though you were never officially on Probation but you were close)! Let's see how it goes for everyone!

Secondly, in revisiting the Spring 2015 NY Fashion week highlights, it seems like there was an over-arching push to accentuate the waist with belts or color blocking. There was also a highlight on femininity and pastels. Let's see if we see that on the red carpet.

Thirdly, OMG I AM SO EXCITED FOR AWARDS SEASON!