Oscars 2020 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

Ever so slowly, we're working our way through the Oscars. 

THE MEH

Kelly Marie Tran!

This is a very interesting dress that I don't find entirely successful. Maybe it's a fault of my brain trying to process a new silhouette but she looks like she has just arrived via parachute and the chute is settling itself around her. (And ps, ROSE TICO DESERVED BETTER.)

Adele Dazeem!

A useful dress for when your hands get cold and you need to shove them in your bow to warm up.

Charlize Theron!

It's not offensive and, indeed, it is better than most of what she wore this awards season. I'm just concerned that the one strap has fainted on her arm.

Beanie Feldstein!

I really like the dress, I really like her styling, but I don't like the fabric of the dress and I disagree with the halter. Why is this dress fuzzy? 

Taika Waititi!

It is historically difficult for me to critique TW's fashion because I am distracted by how unrelentingly handsome he is. It truly took some time for me to see that the pants are too big and the jacket is.... not exactly right either. I literally had to look at this photo only from the neck down. These are the things I am willing to endure to bring you the completely random amateur fashion critiques you come here for, my dear readers.

Natalie Portman!

Obviously, I love a dramatic cape embroidered with the names of the snubbed women directors. And obviously she looks very dramatic and witchy, which is always a good thing in my book. However I am not sure I can get behind a bathing suit under an embroidered sheer dress and I definitely know that a golden rope belt is not my cuppa. This is the Answer Hazy Ask Again Later of the red carpet.

Florence Pugh!

While I deeply disagree with these shoes and the mid-calf high-low skirt (lowish-low?), this color is a dream on her and the fit is perfect. 

Renée Zellweger!

Tell us something we don't know, Renée!

Salma Hayek!

It's okayyyyy but it sort of reads like a very high end mythological goddess costume.

Kathy Bates!

I love this suit, especially with the shell! The problem is, it's too big on her. I want to see this whole outfit exactly the same but with more precise tailoring.

Cynthia Erivo!

There is a lot going on here and I would like the opportunity to remove just one element from this look. Not sure if I would change the shoes, the two different cups, the uncomfortable-looking seatbelt strap, or the number of rings worn... but if just one of those things was out, I think I would love this more.

Greta Gerwig!

Hell of a time to learn that olive isn't your color.

Scarlett Johansson!

From afar, I love this look! From close up, I see that the designer ran out of satin and had to hot glue some tinsel to a Pnina Tornai see-through corset.

Geena Davis!

You cannot convince me the top is not body paint.