Oscars 2020 Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

Well well well, look what the pandemic dragged in. Are we going to finally finish up the Oscars? Could it be? Yes it could. Something's coming...something, well, not good.

THE BAD

Zazie Beetz!

I really didn't want to put her in the Bad pile but between the awkward length on the skirt, the detached corset top with ... many flaps?, and the somewhat matronly shoes, I had no choice. Those flaps! Why? Oy.

Caitríona Balfe!

Even without the very large fashion jelly fish eating her torso, the dress looks cheaply constructed and I won't have it.

Margot Robbie!

Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.

Sigourney Weaver!

Just in case there is a question in your heart about it here you go: I am against rope belts. I am also against dresses that look like they have extra fabric leftover that is fashioned into some sort of shoulder bun. Who did this to Sigourney Weaver? I want names.

Pedro Almodóvar!

This is making me a woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Sure, maybe Sigourney was all tie me up! tie me down! with her belt, but the fit of this suit just looks like a bad education to me. All about my turtleneck, am I right? I want to talk to her him about this shirt choice. It is all pain, no glory. Volver. 

Gal Gadot!

Hahahahah wut. I'm seeing a pretty princess table cloth pinned on top of a long sleeve mock turtleneck teddy with pasties and a hastily added necklace on top. Again, I say to thee: Hahahahah wut.

Rooney Mara!

That is the largest thong I've ever seen.

Olivia Colman!

Medieval Times but make it fashion and make sure to add exhaust pipes for the armpits.

Laura Dern!

Holy shit this is so bad. The baby pink! The bedazzled sports bra overlay! THE TASSELS! You know what this is, right? This is a Full Patrow!