Friday, September 30, 2016

Emmys 2016 Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

As always, we have sooooooooooo much Meh. Let's start with something just a little whisper away from Good.


Alia Shawkat!
We are just a bra away from this being insanely fabulous.

Taraji P. Henson!
Oh I am so in love with this color and this neckline but the dress overall is a bit bland and I would love her makeup to pop a tiny bit more. Maybe a little more shimmer on the lid and more of a standout lip? That said, bow down to her purse game. Purse first!

Gwendoline Christie!
This is so close to being good that it makes me angry. She's so smart for coming in a flirty little feminine piece when she has made her name on distinctly butch characters - this is diversification of a portfolio if I ever saw it! I just wish this flirty little feminine piece a) didn't have quite so much corsetry in the torso, and b) was made of something other than Hefty bags.

Ellie Kemper!
The fit is great and, as usual, her head looks fabulous but why did anyone make a dress from the blackout curtains at the Courtyard Marriott?

Cuba Gooding Jr.!
So so close. Pants and sleeves are just a hair too long and the tie is just slightly too narrow, making his head look huge. You really tried, Cuba!

Portia Doubleday!
Neck-down: Fabulous and so sexy! Neck-up: hanging out with friends you don't have to impress.

Emmy Rossum!
I am so sick of Emmy Rossum showing up places looking beautiful but completely forgettable. MAKE A NEW CHOICE.

Padma Lakshmi!
I'm assuming since I see a bit of fabric pooling in the back that this dress is completely backless and incredibly sexy walking away. Walking toward you, however, is a very modest tin foil disco ball.

Gaby Hoffmann!
Sundays are Gaby's no-pants days and there is literally nothing anyone can do to change that. Real talk, Gaby Hoffmann has a very specific aesthetic and I think she looks pretty cool. (To be clear, it's the intimidating kind of cool. Art kid cool.)

Regina King!
I'm not in love with the detail on the bust, nor this material (mostly because it wrinkles so easily) but I am very much in love with the big grand train and the downright glamour of it. I would very much love to see this in either a lighter rose or a deeper coral. I think this is not the right color for our beloved Regina.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson (seen here with Justin Mikita)!
Tell me something I don't know, Jesse Tyler Ferguson.

Constance Zimmer!
It fits great and it stand out but...this design is for a tea cup, not a dress. Maybe it's the hair + floral, but this is reminding me of the dress Anna Wintour wore to the 2013 Met Ball. That's not a compliment.

Titus Burgess!
So close. Change out the bowtie and the shoes and we have a winner.

Hari Nef!
Faaaaaabulous dress that she is clearly loving but it wants a more delicate shoe and could use a necklace. I'm not in love with the hair but I think a little volume and tszuj to the bangs would do wonders.

Emilia Clarke!
She is all one color. If the dress didn't have the breast bunting, you'd never know she was wearing anything. This could most definitely use a necklace .

Angela Bassett!
The top half is poorly fitted, making the torso unflattering. With all that sleevery, it looks like she's slowly melting. Considering all that criticism, you may ask why this is in the Meh and not the Bad and the answer is: this is nothing compared to some of the poor decisions you'll see in the Bad.

Shiri Appleby!
Great color on her. A narrower V would make her appear less boxy.

Sofia Vergara!

Kirsten Dunst!
This is some sort of Grecian column in a brothel where the madame is in mourning after the death of one of her girls and it is kind of working for me. Kiki looks great even if the dress is fairly bananas. 

Jennifer Lewis!
I'm not sure this is working but I'm also not sure this is not working. I like the ode to excavation of city streets on her coat.

Joanne Froggatt!
I just finished watching the first season of Downton Abbey so I have a lot of love for Joanne Froggatt now but no matter how much I adore Anna, the truth is this a pretty dress that is almost instantly forgotten (and it could use a necklace).

Aziz Ansari!
This is the second simplest fix of the Meh - all he needs to do is go up half a size on the vest and add a tie. This is a fabulous tux perfectly suited for Aziz and they both deserve to shine.

Ariel Winter!
What a stunning dress. My god, I hate the styling on this. This wants big hair, lighter eyes, darker lip, and a cocktail ring in something other than diamond. The shoes can stay, though - they are gorgeous and just right for the dress.

Michelle Dockery!
I looooove the bottom of this dress and I love the shoes and I love everything that is happening with her head. So much is right with this dress except that it looks like she has two weeping ghosts on her boobs.

1 comment:

  1. Ariel Winter looks soooooooooo South Philly! She took her bffs and went to her aunt's cousin's dress shop on Passhunk, then pulled her hair into the tightest scrunchy she could find. Amazed it's not a top knot. And yet she's wearing the hell out of it!