We have a lot to cover and I already blew through 10 minutes of my lunch break so let's get down to business.
THE MEH
Wiz Khalifa!
I am really really into this top detail - I'm pretty sure it's trompe l'oeil, but even if it's not I'm still into it. I know the pant length was A Choice but with the detail on the shirt and jacket it just makes everything look a bit shrunken. It's too bad because I am 90% in love with this look.
Blake Lively!
From the knees down, I love this look. While I appreciate the excellent nude illusion of the rest of the dress, the way the gold threads drape looks saggy to me. I want to love this whole thing, believe me I tried.
Miranda Kerr!
I love this dress, I love this shape, I hate her makeup and hair, I think the shoes are wrong, it could use a necklace, and it's an extraordinarily safe choice.
Naomi Watts!
The fit is off on the dress and the hair and makeup looks like she got stuck in a wind tunnel on her way in. It's not offensive, it's just not polished.
Emma Roberts!
Tsk tsk sat down in the limo. I think the dress is just a skosh off in the fit - it appears to be slightly tight in the ribs and upper legs but slightly large in the bust. I dislike the lace faux bra detail and I despise the pink fur.
Sophia Coppola!
I know it's not true but I feel like the only silhouette I ever see on Sophia Coppola is "sack." But the silver is a great color on her and her head looks fabulous.
Kate Bosworth!
Bald barbie swallowed by interesting dress: news at 11.
Selena Gomez and The Weeknd!
The dress is fairly nightgownish and makes her look younger than she is but the real problem is the styling. A mini doctor bag (or alternately, very large coin purse) and choker with a blown out bob and some of the more aggressive eye makeup this side of Evan Rachel Wood - it just doesn't add up. I think The Weeknd looks very good except that his tie is just a bit too small and he's standing next to Selena Gomez. I put them in the Meh because he's pretty much in the Good pile and she's pretty much in the Bad pile and the law of averages applies to Way Too Shay.
Evan Rachel Wood!
This is the eye makeup of which I spoke. I really like this look but that eye makeup is extremely distracting and off-putting. I suppose that is intentional.
Daisy Ridley!
Waist-down is 2015 mullet dress realness but from the waist-up it's pure, unadulterated Soul Cycle.
Elle Fanning!
Someone super duper loved Frozen.
Maggie Gyllenhaal!
This is the most Maggie Gyllenhaal dress possible and while I do not understand what is happening around her neck, the colors are fabulous on her and she wears this shape well. We are grading on a curve.
Elizabeth Banks!
Wow. It's a schooner.
Hahaha you dumb bastard. It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat.
Claire Foy!
If colonial era bedspreads are your thing, boy do I have a dress for you!
Kerry Washington!
As longtime readers know, Kerry and I do not have the same taste in fashion. I have accepted this and am trying to look at it objectively. Objectively, she looks great and the fit is fantastic. However, I do think it's funny that this is a Michael Kors dress because it looks just like a Project Runway garment where the contestant ran out of time and glued what they had to a bra.
Diane Kruger!
This is very pretty and extremely boring. She should be careful, though, because Elsa's there in the background and might realize Diane stole her bag and freeze her heart or something.
Gisele and Tom Brady!
I don't love Gisele in silver and the ponytail isn't doing much for me, but I think she looks fine overall. Tom's tie is comically large and he somehow decided that velvet was the correct choice of fabric for an event in May. An event for which he was the co-chair. Okay.
Laura Dern!
This is a fabulous dress that is far too tight in the bust. Additionally, Laura Dern needs a new makeup artist.
Naomi Campbell!
Some more velvet here. I really like this look but something seems off with the proportions. I guess I want more volume in the skirt so her shoulders don't look so huge.
Ashley Graham!
I quite like this but I dislike the part where it looks like the ruffle got stuck in the zipper and/or is growing out of her vagina.
Emmy Rossum!
I would be completely in love with this if the bow was two inches more to the side, more definitively on her hip. Definitely could use a necklace.
Serena Williams!
This dress is beautiful and it's perfect on her but the styling sinks it. The white bracelet needs to go and the earrings need to be much, much shorter if they dangle at all. I would have liked a deeper lip on her, too.
Reese Witherspoon!
Fun fact: Reese's shoulder detail doubles as a beer koozie.
Lily James!
Same silhouette as Lily-Rose Depp except I like the pattern on this one better but the styling is not good. Do you think if she removes that necklace her head falls off?
Ruth Negga!
Look, I really struggled with this one. From the front, I deeply dislike it. But from the side....
I love it and think it's totally regal. So here we are in the Meh.
Katy Perry!
This may sound odd, but I am completely underwhelmed by this. It is simultaneously too much and not enough. Furthermore I find those shoes to be offensive. They do nothing to elevate the look. I am disappointed.
Caroline Kennedy!
Caroline Kennedy in Commes des Garcons is perhaps the most delightful thing I have ever seen! Her garment says, "I know where I am," her makeup and hair say, "Former US Ambassador to Japan," and her shoes say, "I AM TRYING."
Last night was our fashion high holy day, the Met Gala! This year's theme is "Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garçons: Art of the In-Between" so one would think that this would be a great chance for celebrities and models to get wild. One would be wrong. There were a few takers, thank god. As Reader Jenna asked on FB, how in the world are we going to determine the categories this year with such disparate looks? It was not easy to parse it out (and, as always with the Met Gala, there are more WTF looks than usual - many of them FABULOUS WTF) but eventually it came down to this: the Good means a great execution of a CdG look, a fabulous gown or suit worn well, or just being Mary J. Blige.
THE GOOD
Zendaya!
Breathtaking, stunning, gorgeous, could use a necklace.
Rita Ora!
I died a thousand times and then I looked at this again and it gave me life. Flawless.
Lena Dunham!
You could knock me over with a feather from shock, but this is fantastic. And! Even with the running-to-Whole-Foods hair, it's the best her head has ever looked.
Helen Lasichanh (seen here with Pharrell)!
Okay, this is really breaking the rules because Helen is technically a Normal but she is killing this iconic Commes des Garcons garment. (I will get to Pharrell in a different post.)
Haley Bennett!
100% not on theme but I am 100% here for this. She looks like she was carved from porcelain top to toes. I love how everything is in the same color palette from dress to skin to nails to jewelry to makeup to hair to headpiece. It's a little bit Effie Trinket in the best way possible.
Rami Malek!
I am pretty much always thrilled to see Rami on the red carpet. He's not afraid to take risks and he looks damn fine doing it.
Kate Hudson!
I moved her back and forth between the Good and the Meh a hundred times but ultimately I think this look is pretty great so I'm just going to put her here.
Cara Delevingne!
I am extremely confused by this look but at the end of the day this is fabulous and will be one of the looks we remember from this Met Gala.
Tracee Ellis Ross!
YES YES YES. It's easy for a CdG dress to wear you, but the styling on this is perfect and takes it right back - you WILL focus on these eyes, you WILL notice these legs in these shoes. Well done Tracee's stylist, well done.
Priyanka Chopra!
Okay, sure, it's very much a Sexy Carmen Sandiego situation but let's go to the widescreen
I demand all trenchcoats be cathedral length from this day forward.
Jessica Chastain!
This is very pretty. I think it's not very adventurous for the Met Gala but I cannot in good conscious ding it or put it in the Meh. To my surprise she wears this color effortlessly, her head looks spectacular, but then again it could use a necklace.
Jennifer Lopez (seen here with some dude)(omg stop I know who he is)!
This is absolutely gorgeous and she looks like the best dressed celebrity at the 1968 Oscars. Again, I cannot ding this but it's not terribly memorable at the end of the day. A-Rod needs a better tailor.
Lily-Rose Depp!
Again, pretty if a little safe. I like the exaggerated hip silhouette and I loooooooooove the rose detail coming around the neck.
Michael B. Jordan!
YOWZA! I love this look on him so much. Beautiful and exciting.
Rose Byrne!
Personal best for Rose Byrne. I'm here for all of this.
Lupita Nyong'o!
Always a red carpet favorite of mine for a reason. This dress is super fun, fits her like a dream, and I am in love with this color.
Allison Williams!
She kind of looks like a drag queen but I'm feeling it.
Nick Jonas!
Lots of fun and it looks great. Please give A-Rod your tailor's number.
Diddy (seen here with Cassie)!
Listen, Diddy and Cassie look like they've come from the future to attend the Met Gala. But the real story is tired Diddy.
I could not be more delighted!
Rihanna!
Rihanna was like, "Oh if I'm gonna wear CdG I'm gonna wear the hell out of it." I may not always super love the gowns and garments she chooses for the Met Gala, but I am so grateful that Rihanna always takes a risk and never makes the safe or boring choice. You may not love this, but you cannot deny that it's a show stopper.
and finally, as promised....
Mary J. Blige!
Is it an elaborate nightie? Absolutely. Does she have prominent cliff hangers? Yes again. Is this fabulous anyway? Of course it is, it's Mary J. Blige, stop asking silly questions.
