Buckle up, buttercups.
THE MEH
Lena Waithe!
My dear readers, I tried so hard to put our Lena in The Good pile yesterday but it came down to the fit on the pants and that shiny shirt. It was so, so close.
Kerry Washington!
Another person extremely close to the cutoff... until you look at those shoes. The dress is killer, the head is everything, but the shoes are just ugly.
Allison Janney!
I like this way better from a distance than I did close-up. I also like it better without the bird.
Dakota Johnson!
Much like the person wearing it, this is just kind of boring. Oh but wait...
Glorified butt bow! And yet I'm still yawning.
Timothee Chalamet!
The pants are a bit too short and I assume the reason the hems look like that are because he is wearing beatle boots or wearing prosthetic feet roughly hewn from blocks of wood.
Laurie Metcalf!
So so close to greatness here. I think this could use a necklace (CUAN) and I'd shorten the pants to above the ankle so we can see the rest of the shoe. Hey, maybe Aunt Jackie and Timothee Chalamet could swap pants! SOLVED.
Issa Rae!
Yet again, hair, makeup, and styling are perfection. This is always a tough fabric because people go immediately to "trash bag" jokes (yours truly included) but she's wearing the hell out of it. I would love to see this without the shoulder ruffles. I think it would make all the difference.
David Harbour!
Here's for all you thirsty Stranger Things fans. (Sidebar: Just watched the first 3 episodes last week so I totally get it.) I do not think Hopper is a three piece suit guy. I'd love to see his vest swapped for a cummerbund.
Alison Brie!
Some of the better Secret Pants of the night (there were many SPs) and a great necklace but definitely right at the top of my list of people in danger of going tits ahoy. Also, let's take a moment to savor the greatness of the MOET pants in the background.
Sarah Paulson!
While this is an important step up from the 2017 Emmys, I could do without the period piece rehearsal skirt.
Mary J. Blige!
My cherished and beloved MJB looks like someone is trying to hide behind her. She's also in danger of going tits ahoy.
America Ferrera and Natalie Portman!
America Ferrera: got cold, borrowed husband's jacket.
Natalie Portman: playing Lady Capulet later tonight.
Hugh Grant (seen here with Anna Eberstein)!
Hem the pants and a slap a cummerbund on him or at least button the jacket and I think we're good to go.
Kyle MacLachlan (seen here with Desiree Gruber)!
Pretty close! It's just that the jacket is a skosh big and the tie is a skosh small.
Christian Slater (seen here with Brittany Lopez)!
Stop me if you've heard this one before: jacket a skosh too big, tie a skosh too small. But still looking surprisingly good!
Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon!
I hate his tie a lot but the rest of the suit is totally fine! I love her sexy business lunch look but the pants and sleeves are both a bit too long and I'm not sure but maybe CUAN.
Sharon Stone (seen here with Roan Joseph Bronstein)!
This dress is really cool but it's just a teensy bit too tight on her rib cage and a little too large in the shoulders. A for effort!
Salma Hayek and Ashley Judd!
I look at both of these dresses and think, okay but why? Why so opaque but then why so sheer? Really just why?
Michelle Williams (seen here with the amazing Tarana Burke)!
While I have some Feelings about the whole "bring an activist as your date" thing, this is a fashion blog so I will simply say that Michelle and I are historically not attracted to the same fashion but this is pretty good for her. It's not overly twee and doesn't make her look like she's playing dress up. I would like to see this without the puffed sleeves.
Sally Hawkins!
The first thing I thought is that she yanked it down her shoulder at the last moment to look "sexy." Honestly, my only quibble is with this ridiculous extra belt length. Tuck it or chuck it.
Jude Law!
It might just be the angle, but I think both the jacket and the tie are just slightly too large. Points for matching your velvet lapel to your velvet shoe.
Reese Witherspoon!
Snoozefest.
Christina Hendricks!
Secret Pants! I like the design on this outfit but it looks like it was made of three separate pieces: shirt, pants, and enormous detachable skirt.
Halle Berry!
OMG Halle Berry, yes, you've still got it, now will you stop trying so hard!?
Emilia Clarke!
Even though the dress is a hair too small on her, she's another one in danger of going tits ahoy. Concerned.
Aziz Ansari!
This is going to sound weird because he's wearing all black but that shirt doesn't match.
Jessica Chastain!
The illusion this dress creates is not exactly flattering. I want better for her.
Gayle King!
First of all, I have a big problem with Gayle getting booted out of her seat next to Oprah multiple times during the show by Barbra. Gayle deserves to sit next to Oprah! Unimpressed. This dress is firmly Meh for me. I appreciate the skill that went into the ombre sequins but it looks like she's mid-magical transformation, a la Cinderella. Also I really really cannot with the Hug Preventer Straps on the sides of the arms. Oprah is getting the biggest award of the night - why would you inhibit your hug abilities!?
Hong Chau!
Move those straps out about an inch and a half and then we'll be in business.
Laura Dern!
I quite like this dress and it fits her well. In the close-ups, the mesh looked a bit unfinished at the top which makes me want to see the dress without the mesh at all.
Tracee Ellis Ross!
Tracee was so super close to going on The Good pile. I love everything head to waist - outstanding, really. But the bottom half of the dress is extremely boring and fits kind of weird, so I was forced to have her here. I love you Tracee and I'm sorry I had to do this.
Welcome to our high holy days! It's once again awards show season and I am once again delighted to critique the sartorial decisions made by people who have tons of privilege and access to fabulous gowns and accessories and yet still decide to wear glorified bathing suits with sheer tablecloths over them. If you're new to Way Too Shay, welcome! I do not critique non-celebs and the only comments I'll make about the kids are if they look great. This is because normals aren't typically able to borrow gowns and jewels from designers and stylists and that's not fair...and because children are children and I'm not an actual monster.
You likely noticed that almost everyone was in black last night. This was a show of solidarity with Time's Up, an organization aiming to address "the systemic inequality and injustice in the workplace that have kept underrepresented groups from reaching their full potential." I'm hopeful this group will be able to bring about some real change (not just in entertainment) and it was nice to see such solidarity, sartorially anyway. But, my dear readers, just because people dressed in black does not mean we have nothing to talk about.
THE GOOD
Oprah!
We begin with our queen and rightful leader, Oprah. This is as close to perfection as I've ever seen her look. Great dress, great hair, great glasses, lip color to die for, great bling, and most importantly great speech. Bow down, everyone.
Elisabeth Moss!
She was clearly going for a very specific, very demure (almost puritanical) look and you know what? She's doing the damn thing!
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson!
Obviously, Mr. "The Rock" Johnson requires a bespoke suit but boy howdy does this one fit him perfectly or what? Gorgeous.
Angelina Jolie!
Is this Not-So-Contrite-Recent-Widow-Trying-To-Bang-the-Investigating-Detective-in-a-Pulp-Novel territory? Absolutley. And I am here for all of it.
Greta Gerwig!
I am not usually a fan of the one-shoulder look but this is really working for me and I really love that necklace.
Franco 1!
Totally fine! Everything seems to be in order here!
Franco 2!
My preferred Franco look of last evening. Digging the bedazzled lapels. You go Franco 2!
Ava DuVernay!
Speaking of bedazzled! I am delightedly surprised by how well she wears the exaggerated shoulders on this dress. Ava looks fabulous.
Ricky Martin!
Yup. Fits great, perfect amount of scruff, love the ring.
Zac Efron!
Yup. Fits great, could have done with a little more scruff but it's ok. This is an appropriately sized bowtie for the size of his head.
Roseanne Barr!
She looks absolutely great. I love this dress, I love the hair, love the earrings. Not sure what's happening with the bag but let's move on.
Taika Waititi!
There is not much to say here. This is a man who consistently dresses well.
Liev Schreiber!
Looks great, no notes.
Mandy Moore!
Well well well, what do you know? Mandy Moore got it together! Though I wish the skirt was slightly less rumpled (don't know if you can see that on your screen), this is better than she's looked in some time. Well done, Mandy.
Eric Wareheim!
Here's a dude I expected to look like a mess on the red carpet. I WAS WRONG. The bowtie is a little too small but I'll forgive that with a classic wave and kiss.
Sterling K. Brown!
Here's a dude I expected to look great on the red carpet. I WAS NOT WRONG. All of America is in love with this guy, right?
Gal Gadot (seen here with Yaron Versano)!
It seems improbable to me that a human being actually looks like Gal Gadot and yet here we are. What a time to be alive!
Common!
Speaking of impossibly beautiful humans, as usual Common is flawless on the red carpet.
Ansel Elgort!
Everything appears to be in order here.
Alexander Skarsgard!
Very well done.
Daniel Kaluuya!
Perfection.
Neil Patrick Harris!
Effortlessly on point.
Zoe Kravitz!
I'm not normally won over by a strapless column dress that could use a necklace but this look really knocks my socks off. The dress fits her like a dream, the lip color is exactly right, and those earrings carry the whole look.
Anthony Anderson (seen here with Alvina Stewart)!
Always one of my favorite red carpet couples and, as usual, Anthony looks fantastic. I am really digging that wide lapel with the brooch.
Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson!
One of my favorite Hollywood couples. THanks looks perfectly fine. While I am a huge fan of fireworks, I am not 100% into Rita's dress but all of that melts away when you look at her IG and see that she was having the greatest time ever at the Golden Globes. Do I follow Rita Wilson on IG? Yes I do. Is it worth it? Pretty much always.
Samira Wiley!
Sure, she's wearing an extremely confusing floating chest piece situation, but I think I'm into it. The dress fits her gloriously and this is the best her head has looked perhaps ever.
Octavia Spencer!
This photo was clearly taken mid-blink but she looks gorgeous. I love this fit and flare silhouette in tea length - it's cute and fun and really working for me.
Mimi!
Mimi is having one hell of a great start to 2018. First she put on that big fur coat and sang well on New Year's Eve (even though no one brought her hot tea - FOR SHAME) and now she's rolling up to the Golden Globes in this excellent mermaid gown. Well done, Mariah. I hope everyone brings you tea everywhere you go for the rest of this year.
Viola Davis!
Best look of the night for me. This dress fits her beautifully, her head looks damn near perfect, and THAT is what I call a necklace (or twelve)! Amazing look.
