2023 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

My dear readers, as with all Met Galas, the WTF is a generous pile of wonder. These WTF looks generally fall into three categories: 

• how are you wearing that and not revealing your nipples and/or genitals
• OMG that is amazing
• my brain is unable to comprehend what is happening

But this year there is also a secret category... what could it be? Let's go in order, shall we? 

How Are You Wearing That and Not Revealing Your Nipples and/or Genitals?!

Rita Ora!

Okay first of all, I cannot imagine a world where there is enough double stick tape to make me confident that the entirety of the Met Gala would not suddenly become my gynecologist while walking. But this is the over the top sheer draping I was talking about with Gigi Hadid yesterday. Yes give me TWO trains, elaborate appliques, more drama. And, yes, more danger too.

Rachel Brosnahan!

Twist around too fast to see Gisele flapping behind you and it's nips o'clock! Also, I hope she had at least bandaids because I can only imagine the chaffing. 

Michaela Coel!

How would one walk in such an amazing creation without also revealing the entirety of one's bathing suit areas?

Pedro Pascal!

His ENTIRE KNEES are showing on the red carpet! Escandalo! 

OMG That Is Amazing

Janelle Monae!

This is so wild and I just love it. They really know how to bring the drama to the show, keeping on theme but also within the realm of their signature colors and style. 

Anok Yai!

The extreme corsetry makes her look like she was not dressed so much as carved out of marble into this look. It's a little bit jelly fish, a little bit liquid, and the look is  pretty amazing to behold.

Anna Wintour and Bill Nighy!

"Just good friends" yeah right. I looooove this turn of events. Please actually be dating.

Jeremy Pope!

Why yes of course it's a staircase-length cape bearing KL's image. What did you think Jeremy Pope was going to show up in? A violin dress? Let's get another look.

My Brain Is Unable To Comprehend What Is Happening

Erykah Badu!

Erykah Badu took inspiration this year from long haired highland cows.

Penelope Cruz!

Pen Cruz made her first holy communion at the Met Gala.

 Yung Miami (seen here with Diddy)!

Unfortunate timing that Yung Miami was forced to wear a recovery cone collar to the Met Gala but at least no one could get close enough for a hug. And, as I mentioned in the Good, Diddy is wearing a fine but less successful version of Brian Tyree Henry's look.

Alton Mason!

Sure.

And finally! Our secret fourth category....

People Dressed as Choupette, the Cat

Doja Cat!

Extra points to Doja Cat for going for Choupette But Make It Fashion and a million points forever to her for only answering any reporter questions with "meow." Hero.

Ugh Jared Leto!

This freakin guy. Did you see the video of Lizzo hugging him and mouthing over his shoulder "who is this?" Her reaction when she finds out who she is hugging is classique. 

Lil Nas X!

I mean! THIS is how you dress as a cat for the Met Gala. This is so astounding, I would even go so far as to say it is a Full Tonga!

And that's a wrap! Thank you as always for reading! xo

2023 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

May the 4th be with you (those raised Catholic: and also with you)! Gird your loins and get ready for some frightful missteps. At this point I don't think we have a Full Paltrow, but who knows? By the time I get to the end of a rant about a look sometimes I decide it's a crime against all that is sacred and it turns into a Full Paltrow. Let's roll the dice.

Paris Hilton!

Let's talk about the fit on this gown and how ... it doesn't. I don't know if the shoes are meant to be seen but the hemline on this does not feel intentional. Also the fit on the bust and the sleeves looks baggy - again, if this was meant to look ruched, it was unsuccessful. I want so much more for Paris.

Olivia Rodrigo!

First of all, CUAN. I like the top of this but the strings are killing me. When I tell you Roxxy Andrews did it better on a dress made out of candy, well...

Emily Blunt!

Points for secret pants, but explain to me how the rest of this goes together. The skirt is too long, the blouse is overly fussy, and then we have the bow and flower which just absolutely exhaust me. I swear I am not against flowers - just I don't like how this looks! None of these elements talks to each other, they are all just thrown together like a weird salad made of gummy bears, radishes, and cottage cheese. 

Jessica Chastain!

Oh girl. Oh no. Oh no no no.

Ben Platt!

Remember back in the Good pile when we were talking about Jenna Ortega and how she was wearing the couture and I said we would later have an example of the opposite? Welcome to the example. These clothes are wearing Ben Platt so hard, he can hardly even smize! The effort was there, certainly, but it's just not working. Couture 1, Ben Platt 0.

Gigi Hadid!

Perhaps you feel that this is fine and you are welcome to feel this way. Come back tomorrow after you've seen Rita Ora wear the superior version of this with more flair. We did see quite a few of these riffs on the KL exposed hip bones thing, but when it's so sheer like this look, I want way more detailing. This probably would have ended up in the Meh if I hadn't see Rita's version. Give me sheer but make it completely bananas over the top. 

Karen Elson!

Okay but not like that, that's TOO bananas. I love that she looks like she just got back from Six Flags and spent all her money at the giant tissue paper flower booth. This dress is like underboob yes, maybe a hint at crotch, but god forbid they know you have a neck! 

Serena Williams (seen here with Alexis Ohanian)!

What in the Dynasty/Dallas/Knots Landing/Falcon Crest fever dream is going on here!?

Glenn Close!

We all know that feeling when you come home from a long day Duchess-ing and throw the nearest bedspread around your shoulders for warmth and comfort. And listen, we know I am all for necklaces but this is A Lot Of Necklace. A lot. 

Anne Hathaway!

I surprised myself by the intensity with which I hate this dress. I have spent a lot of time thinking about it and I think it comes down to two things: the wads of fabric on the bust and the fact that this dress is distracting me from how hot Annie Hathaway looks. Like career-best hotness but then: boob trash. Wait. Are they flowers? Maybe I am actually against flowers after all!? I'm learning a lot about myself coming out of semi-blog-retirement. 

2023 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

When it comes to the Met Gala, you have to go big with the theme or a look or a performance element. Remember when Billy Porter was carried in on a litter? Or when Gaga had multiple looks as she made her way up the steps? Or when Rihanna was an ornate omelette? That is the kind of energy we are looking for. Something pretty just isn't going to cut it. It's fine to be lovely, but at this event - even if it's styled to perfection-  that's just Meh.

Ariana DeBose!

I regret to inform you that Ariana DeBose did not do the thing. She almost did the thing but not quite. While I appreciate her trying to use her hair as a necklace, this most definitely CUAN.

David Byrne!

Points for the bicycle, yes, but ever since I saw Bad Bunny I need all white suits to be backless. Sorry David Byrne.

Viola Davis!

She is stunning, of course as usual, but it looks like she's changing behind a very elaborate privacy screen.

Jennifer Lynn Lopez (who should have been nominated for an Oscar for Hustlers)!

Okay first of all, my dear readers, I need to share with you that I just googled to make sure it's Lynn and not Lynne and JENNIFER LOPEZ CHANGED HER LAST NAME TO AFFLECK. Can you imagine taking Ben Affleck's name? Can you imagine being JENNIFER LYNN LOPEZ WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR FOR HUSTLERS and taking Ben Affleck's name!? Let me be clear: I'm not against people changing their names after marriage, I am against Ben Affleck.

Anyway, the dress is nice -it definitely evokes the green dress by showing off the sternum and belly except it is a less successful look. The line is abruptly cut by the kooshball at her throat and the shoes look exhausting. Dig the hat tho!

Gwendolyn Christie!

She has no arms and is all one color. ZZZZzzzzzzz.

Olivia Wilde!

This is a version of a classic KL design - the violin dress - and it fits the theme and it's fine but I don't like it very much. I just think it's kind of boring and the Bracelets of Submission are distracting. Also Margaret Zhang wore the same dress in black (which I liked better).

DRAMA!

Billie Eilish!

It's fine but I'm borrrrrrrrrred.

Kate Moss (with daughter Lila)!

Unto every Met Gala, some Snuffleupagus fur must fall. I wish this nightgown on Kate was a hilarious throwback on her pal Naomi's famous line about not getting out of bed for less than $10,000... but I think it might just be a nightgown. A nightgown with a sad chiffon sleeve afterthought. But would you look at that necklace? Love to see it.

 Dua Lipa!

I really like this and almost put it in the Good pile but I think ultimately there's just not enough there there. And it's giving me Little Bo Peep vibes minus sheep. OMG - Dula Bo Peep! 

Gisele!

She looks beautiful as always and I love not having to see Tom anymore, but why is she dressed as a peacock that got stuck in some vertical blinds? And how many times did she flap during the evening? Because the flap is the interesting part! Just imagining Gabrielle Union muttering to Dwyane Wade, "Gisele is over there flapping again." 

Kristen Stewart!

The mental gymnastics I went through to try to like this! I almost like it but the little sheer belly button part of the shirt, the three-pronged tie, the silhouette of the pants... I just can't get there. I think the look she was attempting was successful, but I don't care for it.

Margot Robbie!

Snoozefest.


Florence Pugh!

That hat is FANTASTIC. I have no idea how she got through any doorways but I don't care, it's a moment! Unfortunately the dress is an artfully arranged duvet with a pathetic little bow that is NOT going to keep her from going tits ahoy, I fear.

Nicole Kidman!

Nic wore the dress from the Chanel commercial with shoes that don't go and what appears to be a hair elastic on her wrist. But she looks pretty and it's fun to have the throwback. Even half-assed attempts feel good in a place like this.

Rihanna! Again!

Ah yes, here's the reveal. It's okay, it's just that the fit is way off on the bust and I absolutely hate that flower. You don't need the flower on the dress itself when the jacket is all flowers. Get it out of there.

2023 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Good!

Hello my dear readers. Yesterday was the First Monday in May and though Way Too Shay is in semi-retirement, I simply could not resist dusting off the ol' blog to bring you the best, the worst, the boringest, and the most WTF looks of the most important Monday in fashion - the Met Gala! This year's theme was a tribute to Karl Lagerfeld, who was a fat-phobic maniac... who happened to design beautiful things to wear. His iconic look was crisp white shirt with high collar, tie with brooch, black fingerless gloves, dark sunglasses, a fan, which you'll see much of in this rundown. Black, pearls, leather, exaggerated silhouettes, exposed boning, exposed hip bones, large headpieces, over the top beading, couture prepster extravaganza - that's what we talk about when we talk about Karl Lagerfeld. Oh and his beloved cat Choupette... remember Choupette for later. Let's get down to it!

Lizzo!

Lizzo looks gorgeous hitting so many Lagerfeld checkmarks - black, dripping with pearls, leather, fingerless gloves. Again, I cannot stress enough how hateful KL was toward bodies with any sort of flesh on them, which makes this look all the more special to me.

Ashley Graham!

Love this take on the iconic 1987 Chanel haute couture pink satin dress - but even more exaggerated. And let's talk about the 90s hair - fingerwaves, spit curls and The Flip all at once? It's bananas and I love it.

Brian Tyree Henry!

What stunning, carefully chosen excess! Diddy went for a similar look but I think BTH executed it more successfully. He looks beyond regal.

Salma Hayek!

Leather and lace and pearls in fire red? Fetch my smelling salts!

Jordan Roth!

The Met Gala is always blessed by Jordan Roth, but Jordan Roth in a black sequined fan gown is truly a gift.

Bad Bunny!

A backless suit with a 6+ foot couture stole in pristine white? Why yes, I do enjoy looking at that!

Ke Huy Quan!

While this may be grinding the line between homage and cosplay, in this case we must abide by the ZZ Top theorem: every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Cara Delevigne!

KL's one-time muse doing a fun deconstructed, feminized version of his iconic look down to the white hair. I'm all for it.

Teyana Taylor!

This takes my breath away - Thom Browne has done it again. It may have done the same to her, too - I heard the skirt was so tight she actually had to hop up the stairs! 

Stephanie Hsu!

My dear readers, I know this is a blogspot site and I know I take all my photos from the internet, so I know you will not be able to fully see the detail on this dress. So I implore you to google it and zoom in - the construction is mind-blowing and I just love the gradual size increase of the sequins and beading from top to bottom. This is a such a cool look and I think the choice to go severe on makeup and hair really works.

Keke Palmer!

I am in awe of the fit on this gown. It looks heavy as hell but I firmly believe there is not a chance this is going tits ahoy. And, in contrast to the last look, I think the softness for the hair and a nude lip is exactly right. 

Jenna Ortega!

Okay, we are going to come back to this concept in the Bad so listen up: this is a master class in the star wearing the couture instead of the couture wearing the star. By all rights Jenna Ortega should be swallowed by this look but she is in total control - and looks so cool.

Taika Waititi!

Taika Waititi shan't be coaxed out of his housecoat. Nay, he'll simply add some necklaces and change his loafers for hard soled shoes and you will like it.

Michelle Yeoh!

One of my favorite looks is that off-the-shoulder take on a buttoned down men's shirt. Add some of the biggest puffed sleeves in the world and you know I'm all in.

Cardi B!

Everything seems to be in order here. No notes!

Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade!

The coolest people in the entire building. Full stop. Also please observe the coordinating but alternating leather elements. I bow down.

Amanda Seyfried!

This is the best she has ever looked. Please make sure to keep this stylist! Did I think it was Hung Up-era Madonna? Absolutely. Is that a compliment? Mostly. 
 
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky!

The iconic tartan kilt (which was styled over jeans, which you can't see in this photo but worked), THREE belts, and basically the couture equivalent of being covered in whipped cream... THIS is the Met Gala. Let's get a better look at Riri...

BRB, hot gluing huge lashes on the outside of all my sunglasses. There is, of course, a reveal. But... you'll have to wait and see what category that falls into. More to come later this week!

Welcome back to amateur fashion commentary, my dear readers. I missed this.