2021 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh

Let's see what allllllllllllllmost worked but wasn't awful at the Met Ball!

Normani!

I love this gown. I love the color, I love the volume, I love it on Normani... but I am not a fan of the styling. I think I want a bigger hair choice - maybe not more hair but maybe a fascinator or something. I think the makeup is a little understated for the size of the sleeves, and I want to suggest sapphires or amethysts as precious stone swapouts. That said...

 Kate Hudson!

Answering the question no one asked: what if you made Gwyneth Paltrow's unfortunate 1998 Oscars dress into a two piece and added 12 ostriches worth of pink coat? Honestly, she looks spectacular but this is what I would call A Choice.

Chloe and Halle Bailey!

In my fantasy world, they decided that one would go as the bride and the other would be the bridesmaid who has a wedding at 6 and a Tina Turner tribute show at 7.

Kendall Jenner!

The construction on this gown is absolutely stunning, but this is what I was talking about with Zoe Kravitz. I prefer a diamond g-string to a highly visible granny panty. Look, I love a granny panty. Comfort, function, insulation from thigh to underboob...  Would I wear granny panties to the Met Gala? What do you think?

Gigi Hadid!

Burrito but make it fashion.

Tessa Thompson!

My god, I love this dress. It's so beautiful and cool and looks amazing on her. But what in the Coyote Ugly is happening with these boots and that hat!?

Megan Fox!

I'm not sure how anything stays put in this dress. I would certainly go tits ahoy if I attempted this look. It's beautiful, she looks great, but I am stressed about it.

Audra McDonald!

I appreciate the effort, but I'm underwhelmed.

The Currys!

I love the design of both of these looks but everything seems just a skosh too small here. Ayesha's boobs are trying to escape their too-small cups prison and Steph's tux is just like a quarter to half an inch short on the hem of both the pants and sleeves for my taste. Currys! Don't put stuff in the dryer on high heat!

Elliot Page!

Okay and then the opposite problem. To be clear, I want to give Eliot Page time to explore his style, and I think this is a very specific choice because he has worn highly tailored, form fitting suits on red carpets in past years and I recognize and appreciate that. But I'm just saying I do not think the answer is a suit designed by David Byrne circa Stop Making Sense.

Mary J. Blige!

It truly pains me to say this to my beloved MJB but ... snoozefest.

Gemma Chan!

Is that part of the dress or is she just bringing her own backdrop with her to the red carpet?

Lorde!

Lorde, you are 3 years late. "Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination" was the 2018 theme. Then again, what is time anymore?

Kehlani!

I love the suit (yes even with the straps) but I really wish it didn't give her a footectomy. I also wish the mask matched the suit material. I also want to know what percentage of her torso is completely covered in double stick tape. This one really walks the line of Meh/Bad for me (but I've already written the whole description so it's staying here now).

Donatella Versace!

Tell me something I don't know, Donatella Versace.

Lee Pace!

It's a fine look - I really dig the garters - but I think the bowtie needs to be a bit larger. Additionally, I have a really hard time with formal shorts of any kind (which you will see coming up in the next two posts) so this is not lighting me up like it would if it was a skirt or kilt. Thanks to Reader Kate for bringing this to my attention, even though we disagree about the relative greatness of this look.

Cara Delevingne!

I really like this but she should've worn a strap. It would have helped mask the fact that she sat down in the limo, at the very least.