Thursday, June 23, 2016

Tony Awards 2016 Rundown: The Meh!

Let's see what's almost good, shall we?


Saycon Sengbloh!
This one was really close for me because two thirds of this look is FANTASTIC. From the thighs up, this is killer but I dislike the bottom third of this dress immensely. It cheapens the look (undeservedly!) and it's just a little too short. I love the contrast liner and think it's a very cool thing to see, but I wish it had just been a little surprise in the train. 

Pascale Armand!
This is another very close call for me. In theory this is great, but the more I look at it the more I think shapeless silhouette curtain boobs. 

Jonathan Groff!
It fits well but I'm distracted by the figure skater feet and disappearing bowtie. Also, I mean, maybe a little brow pencil would have been welcome here. Just like a whisper of brow pencil. The whisperiest whisper.

Bebe Neuwirth!
And then Bebe came dressed as the ghost who haunts the Beacon Theatre.

Michelle Williams!
Ghost best friend. Awwww.

Sara Bareilles!
Ghost frenemy! Ghost Bebe and Ghost Michelle tell her they like her braid but they totally make fun of the braid behind her back. Ghost Sara doesn't understand why they are so hot and cold with her. Ghost Bebe and Ghost Michelle don't have the heart to tell her that if she wants to really be in their clique she's going to have to start wearing tighter and lower-cut ghost dresses. Ghost Sara will write a haunting song about it but will make it out of both their ranges so they can't sing it. SO THERE.

Megan Hilty!
I actually can't tell if this is a pretty dress or not. I feel like if it was in a different color I would hate it maybe? I don't know! That's why it's here! Also it's a skosh too small and sort of makes her look like she's using the red carpet as an audition for Best Little Whorehouse... 

Phillipa Soo!
Snoozefest. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Carole King!
This is a perfectly acceptable dress for Carole King to wear to the Tonys. It's a little Mother of the Bride but I think Carole King is allowed to play it safe at this point.And she probably would have ended up in the good if she wasn't so deadset on showing off these horrible foot cages. Put em away, Carole, you're embarrassing yourself. 

Diane Lane!
This is a magic eye dress that makes her look like a hunchback. 

Alex Brightman!
In a move that is quite opposite to many of the men we will feature from here out, it seems Mr. Brightman's jacket is a bit too large on him. Just enough to be noticeable, I think. Good hem length, though. I'd say this isn't a hard line Meh, just enough that I couldn't put him in the Good.

Jane Krakowski!
This is a great dress is a fantastic color with absolutely the wrong neckline. Jane, never let them make your torso look this blocky again.

Allison Williams!
I assume this is a tribute to Victor Victoria because there is no other reason to show up to the Tonys in the formalwear equivalent of the half-man/half-woman Halloween costume of yore.

Gloria and Emilio Estefan!
I adore them but these outfits are off. Emilio has some fit and length issues and Gloria appears to be wearing a corset cover over a dress? Can that be true? I assume it's not true and that it's just some extremely odd construction on the dress. 

Adrienne Warren!
This is an incredible look at the wrong event. Misplaced but stunning.

Renee Elise Goldsberry!
I hate it when my dress contracts herpes.

Busy Philipps!
Duvet cover realness. She even brought a book to bed with her!

Aaron Tevit!
Goodness. This is a bit snug in places. Slim fit suits aren't for everyone, Aaron.

Jessie Mueller!
So what you're telling me is that it's a romper with some tulle stapled to it? SOUNDS PERFECT.

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