2023 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Meh!

When it comes to the Met Gala, you have to go big with the theme or a look or a performance element. Remember when Billy Porter was carried in on a litter? Or when Gaga had multiple looks as she made her way up the steps? Or when Rihanna was an ornate omelette? That is the kind of energy we are looking for. Something pretty just isn't going to cut it. It's fine to be lovely, but at this event - even if it's styled to perfection-  that's just Meh.

Ariana DeBose!

I regret to inform you that Ariana DeBose did not do the thing. She almost did the thing but not quite. While I appreciate her trying to use her hair as a necklace, this most definitely CUAN.

David Byrne!

Points for the bicycle, yes, but ever since I saw Bad Bunny I need all white suits to be backless. Sorry David Byrne.

Viola Davis!

She is stunning, of course as usual, but it looks like she's changing behind a very elaborate privacy screen.

Jennifer Lynn Lopez (who should have been nominated for an Oscar for Hustlers)!

Okay first of all, my dear readers, I need to share with you that I just googled to make sure it's Lynn and not Lynne and JENNIFER LOPEZ CHANGED HER LAST NAME TO AFFLECK. Can you imagine taking Ben Affleck's name? Can you imagine being JENNIFER LYNN LOPEZ WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR FOR HUSTLERS and taking Ben Affleck's name!? Let me be clear: I'm not against people changing their names after marriage, I am against Ben Affleck.

Anyway, the dress is nice -it definitely evokes the green dress by showing off the sternum and belly except it is a less successful look. The line is abruptly cut by the kooshball at her throat and the shoes look exhausting. Dig the hat tho!

Gwendolyn Christie!

She has no arms and is all one color. ZZZZzzzzzzz.

Olivia Wilde!

This is a version of a classic KL design - the violin dress - and it fits the theme and it's fine but I don't like it very much. I just think it's kind of boring and the Bracelets of Submission are distracting. Also Margaret Zhang wore the same dress in black (which I liked better).

DRAMA!

Billie Eilish!

It's fine but I'm borrrrrrrrrred.

Kate Moss (with daughter Lila)!

Unto every Met Gala, some Snuffleupagus fur must fall. I wish this nightgown on Kate was a hilarious throwback on her pal Naomi's famous line about not getting out of bed for less than $10,000... but I think it might just be a nightgown. A nightgown with a sad chiffon sleeve afterthought. But would you look at that necklace? Love to see it.

 Dua Lipa!

I really like this and almost put it in the Good pile but I think ultimately there's just not enough there there. And it's giving me Little Bo Peep vibes minus sheep. OMG - Dula Bo Peep! 

Gisele!

She looks beautiful as always and I love not having to see Tom anymore, but why is she dressed as a peacock that got stuck in some vertical blinds? And how many times did she flap during the evening? Because the flap is the interesting part! Just imagining Gabrielle Union muttering to Dwyane Wade, "Gisele is over there flapping again." 

Kristen Stewart!

The mental gymnastics I went through to try to like this! I almost like it but the little sheer belly button part of the shirt, the three-pronged tie, the silhouette of the pants... I just can't get there. I think the look she was attempting was successful, but I don't care for it.

Margot Robbie!

Snoozefest.


Florence Pugh!

That hat is FANTASTIC. I have no idea how she got through any doorways but I don't care, it's a moment! Unfortunately the dress is an artfully arranged duvet with a pathetic little bow that is NOT going to keep her from going tits ahoy, I fear.

Nicole Kidman!

Nic wore the dress from the Chanel commercial with shoes that don't go and what appears to be a hair elastic on her wrist. But she looks pretty and it's fun to have the throwback. Even half-assed attempts feel good in a place like this.

Rihanna! Again!

Ah yes, here's the reveal. It's okay, it's just that the fit is way off on the bust and I absolutely hate that flower. You don't need the flower on the dress itself when the jacket is all flowers. Get it out of there.

2023 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Good!

Hello my dear readers. Yesterday was the First Monday in May and though Way Too Shay is in semi-retirement, I simply could not resist dusting off the ol' blog to bring you the best, the worst, the boringest, and the most WTF looks of the most important Monday in fashion - the Met Gala! This year's theme was a tribute to Karl Lagerfeld, who was a fat-phobic maniac... who happened to design beautiful things to wear. His iconic look was crisp white shirt with high collar, tie with brooch, black fingerless gloves, dark sunglasses, a fan, which you'll see much of in this rundown. Black, pearls, leather, exaggerated silhouettes, exposed boning, exposed hip bones, large headpieces, over the top beading, couture prepster extravaganza - that's what we talk about when we talk about Karl Lagerfeld. Oh and his beloved cat Choupette... remember Choupette for later. Let's get down to it!

Lizzo!

Lizzo looks gorgeous hitting so many Lagerfeld checkmarks - black, dripping with pearls, leather, fingerless gloves. Again, I cannot stress enough how hateful KL was toward bodies with any sort of flesh on them, which makes this look all the more special to me.

Ashley Graham!

Love this take on the iconic 1987 Chanel haute couture pink satin dress - but even more exaggerated. And let's talk about the 90s hair - fingerwaves, spit curls and The Flip all at once? It's bananas and I love it.

Brian Tyree Henry!

What stunning, carefully chosen excess! Diddy went for a similar look but I think BTH executed it more successfully. He looks beyond regal.

Salma Hayek!

Leather and lace and pearls in fire red? Fetch my smelling salts!

Jordan Roth!

The Met Gala is always blessed by Jordan Roth, but Jordan Roth in a black sequined fan gown is truly a gift.

Bad Bunny!

A backless suit with a 6+ foot couture stole in pristine white? Why yes, I do enjoy looking at that!

Ke Huy Quan!

While this may be grinding the line between homage and cosplay, in this case we must abide by the ZZ Top theorem: every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Cara Delevigne!

KL's one-time muse doing a fun deconstructed, feminized version of his iconic look down to the white hair. I'm all for it.

Teyana Taylor!

This takes my breath away - Thom Browne has done it again. It may have done the same to her, too - I heard the skirt was so tight she actually had to hop up the stairs! 

Stephanie Hsu!

My dear readers, I know this is a blogspot site and I know I take all my photos from the internet, so I know you will not be able to fully see the detail on this dress. So I implore you to google it and zoom in - the construction is mind-blowing and I just love the gradual size increase of the sequins and beading from top to bottom. This is a such a cool look and I think the choice to go severe on makeup and hair really works.

Keke Palmer!

I am in awe of the fit on this gown. It looks heavy as hell but I firmly believe there is not a chance this is going tits ahoy. And, in contrast to the last look, I think the softness for the hair and a nude lip is exactly right. 

Jenna Ortega!

Okay, we are going to come back to this concept in the Bad so listen up: this is a master class in the star wearing the couture instead of the couture wearing the star. By all rights Jenna Ortega should be swallowed by this look but she is in total control - and looks so cool.

Taika Waititi!

Taika Waititi shan't be coaxed out of his housecoat. Nay, he'll simply add some necklaces and change his loafers for hard soled shoes and you will like it.

Michelle Yeoh!

One of my favorite looks is that off-the-shoulder take on a buttoned down men's shirt. Add some of the biggest puffed sleeves in the world and you know I'm all in.

Cardi B!

Everything seems to be in order here. No notes!

Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade!

The coolest people in the entire building. Full stop. Also please observe the coordinating but alternating leather elements. I bow down.

Amanda Seyfried!

This is the best she has ever looked. Please make sure to keep this stylist! Did I think it was Hung Up-era Madonna? Absolutely. Is that a compliment? Mostly. 
 
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky!

The iconic tartan kilt (which was styled over jeans, which you can't see in this photo but worked), THREE belts, and basically the couture equivalent of being covered in whipped cream... THIS is the Met Gala. Let's get a better look at Riri...

BRB, hot gluing huge lashes on the outside of all my sunglasses. There is, of course, a reveal. But... you'll have to wait and see what category that falls into. More to come later this week!

Welcome back to amateur fashion commentary, my dear readers. I missed this.

Sexy __________ Halloween Costume Roundup 2022!

My dear readers, hello. It's been a minute. I'm sorry we didn't get to celebrate the highs and lows of the big red carpets this year. That said, is it actually Halloween if you don't see someone's abs or butt cheeks? No, I don't believe so. So settle into your most uncomfortable push up bra or strap on that pleather harness and let's dig in to this year's selection of Sexy ____ Halloween Costumes!

Sexy Bridgerton!

Honestly, Yandy what took you so long? In terms of Sexy ____ costumes this one is fairly tame, but still counts. Sadly, they do not have a matching men's sexy version.

Sexy Cowgirl!

I need y'all to know that this comes in a variety of colors but I thought the cow print was the best of them. You know, really drive home the point of the costume. And good news for couples....

Sexy Cowboy!

Okay, look, you cannot convince me that this is not trying to be Sexy Woody from Toy Story but with the print on the chaps instead of the shirt for obvious reasons. Also, this model is in a lot of the men's Sexy ____ costume photos and I just noticed the enormous tattoo of a dog on his arm. If you visit the page for this one you'll see another model wearing this costume with SNEAKERS. Absolutely not! 

Sexy Cow!

A++++ to Yandy. Sexy Cow!?! I never would have imagined this day. I am delighted. All I have to say is, Brown Cow: Stunning! 

Sexy Gummy Bear!

The necklace (!!!) says "Gummy a Bear Hug" which I reject entirely. I actually don't understand this costume at all but it also comes in green. 

Sexy Cruella!

I think we've seen Sexy Cruella costumes before but this is a nice update thanks to the Emma Stone movie. They say "wig and cigarette holder not included" but I am seeing a riding crop? Confused. Yandy, pls clarify.

Sexy Devil!

The lacing on the briefs has me cackling - Yandy has styled this with "hint of scrotum" analogous to "underboob." Oh Yandy! You are too much!

Sexy Baseball Player!

Was definitely hoping to see some Sexy Lesbian Rockford Peaches this year because holy shit the League of Their Own series on Amazon was so great. Honestly, in any other year I would not include this costume but the boys are playing Game 3 tonight at home so LET'S GO PHILLIES!!!!!! Why can't us, you know?

Sexy Tennis Player!

Why are the skirt, bag, and cap brim see-through!? This is a classic Yandy costume - sexy in a very confusing way. 

Sexy Painter!

Amazing addition to the team. No notes.

Sexy Fireman!

A bit passé, no? Snoozefest.

Sexy EMT!

Sure.

Sexy Olivia Newton John Physical Video!

This is pretty deluxe, I have to say, but extremely suspicious timing. I will spare you the details of a costume idea I overheard someone sharing that started with zombie and ended with this. Entirely too soon! 

Sexy Amelia Earhart Bessie Coleman!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!???? This is phenomenal. The lace up thigh highs? The crop jacket? The scarf? Chef's kiss - all of it!

Edit! Thank you to Reader Chris for pointing out my mistake: this is Sexy Bessie Coleman, not at all Sexy Amelia Earhart. All other comments remain unchanged.

Sexy Anna Delvey!

My dear readers, I was not sure that I was going to even do a Sexy ____ costume roundup this year. I was considering the real possibility of disappointing the tens of people who look forward to this. But then, I saw this costume and I knew that even if this was the only one that made me laugh and sigh resignedly, then it was worth a post. I absolutely love the Soho Grifter - a hero for our times. But surely just throwing on some black glasses and a sash that says VIP IS ALWAYS BETTER over a sexy black dress is hardly a great Sexy Anna Delvey costume... 

BUT(T) WAIT.... THERE'S MORE. Here is the back of the costume....

The underwear says DO YOU ACCEPT WIRE TRANSFER? Now, if you are not an Anna Delvey fan like me, just trust me that this is hilarious. Also, I cannot tell if the dress is being held up to reveal the underwear or if there is simply no back to this dress and you have to walk around all night with your cooch covered but your buns out. I really hope it's the latter because that is the sillier way.

Thank you, Yandy, for these delightful treats. And thank you, dear readers, for joining me for this annual tradition. Happy Halloween!