Friday, October 29, 2021

Sexy __________ Halloween Costume Roundup 2021!

Welcome to our most hallowed yearly tradition: running down what's new in Sexy ______ Halloween costumes. Yandy has once again braved the ongoing pandemic to bring us only the most ridiculous outfits for besmirching childhood favorites or turning current pop culture offerings into low cut leotards and short shorts. Every single year, I open Yandy.com and expect that this will finally be the year we have no new ideas. And yet, somehow, those geniuses continue to produce. Is it my dream job to work at Yandy, coming up with ideas for Sexy ____ costumes? You bet your ass it is.

Of course the nametag says Dr. Feelin' Good. As you may know, Yandy draws the line at COVID costumes so Sexy Trained Medical Professionals are as good as it gets.

Sexy UPS Driver!

Yeah baby I'll toss your package right here on the porch.

How is this the first we are seeing a Sexy Strawberry? Also, the receptionist at the place I got my mammogram yesterday told me that Acme fooled her into paying full price for strawberries by putting them right next to the $1 deals - and then! The strawberries immediately went bad! Truly a tale of terror. 

And yes of course I am the person who talks to the receptionist for 20 minutes before an appointment and gets their full life story. You knew that.

A great way to look like your entire torso is covered in pustules. Sorry, sexy pustules.

I guess this is 80s themed pizza? It's fairly tame as far as Sexy___ costumes go. I legitimately love the pizza box bag - definitely need that.

Now make a Sexy Grimace, you cowards!

Well I did not see that coming. I am fairly delighted by the absurdity of this whole idea! To really commit, make sure to plant bugs all over your body under the costume so they come tumbling out when you take it off.

They've exhausted all the princesses, so this was the next logical move I suppose.

It is against my personal code to partake of the Matrix in any of its forms but here you go.

Jinkies.

Sexy Scooby Doo!
When you're not just a snack, you're a Scooby snack... 

The cartoon that launched a thousand puberties, now live and in person.


Sold separately. I originally thought the Thing 1 was written on her chest in marker but it seems they are designed with the different 1 and 2. Yandy! Always hustling!

Oh behave! But.... wait a minute....

Someone explain to me why in the year of our Regina King two thousand twenty-one there are two new Sexy Austin Powers costumes. 

While this is obviously a poor attempt, let's cut Yandy some slack here. They have to plan pretty far in advance for their Sexy ____ costume selections for the year and don't know what will be passé (see Sexy Banana Bread from last year) and what will be the hot thing everyone is talking about. So this definitely got fast tracked... and you can tell.

Something is off about this costume but I can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe tutu placement? Maybe the pleatherness? Suggestions welcome.

If I wore this I would give myself a hairy chest. This is, perhaps, why I am not the target Yandy customer.

Sexy Cobra! (not the insurance)
Please make this a couples costume with a Sexy Mouse. Pleeeeeeeeeease.

Yandy really wants me to buy that this is a Sexy Lady Justice But Make It Pride costume... where is the blindfold, Yandy? Wither the scales? Even if you're selling it separately, give me the illusion. 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here's where I realize that I still did not post the WTF from the Met Gala so you may not have seen this yet. As far as Sexy ___ costumes go, this one is extremely funny.

Are you ready for our parade of redundancies?

Redundant!

Redundant! (Also I only figured this out by the tiny dog in bag.)

Sexy Xtina!
To misquote Miranda Priestly, Sexy Dirrrrty-Era Christina Aguilera? Groundbreaking.

And now! Onto some truly unhinged men's Sexy ___ costumes!

To infinity and beyond, indeed!

Sexy Nerd!
Y'all. Y. All. I cannot stop laughing. Yandy said glasses, bowtie, suspenders, shortshort boxer briefs YUP THAT'S A NERD. Never change, Yandy.

And finally, the funniest costume (to me) of this Sexy ___ calendar year..... 

Regina King, our lord and savior, if you are listening please bring me photos from someone who actually chose to be Sexy Dexter (Not That Dexter) for Halloween. Please. I need it to live. In the name of the Oscar, the Emmy, and the Golden Globe, amen.

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