Golden Globes 2020 Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad!

There are some terrible dresses on beautiful women today. Please read to the end for a very important announcement. 

THE BAD

Salma Hayek!

Like we discussed with Margot Robbie, the white skirt has absolutely nothing to do with the top. The worst offense here is the keyhole cutout because it cheapens the look drastically and that's not fair to Salma Hayek.

Charlize Theron!

Don't you hate it when you're doing scarf magic and accidentally disappear half your dress? 

Sienna Miller!

Sienna Miller tied together some bedding to sneak out of her parents' second floor window and just wore the whole thing to the show. 

Dawson's Creek Michelle Williams!

Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.

Taylor Swift!

For a person known for her "great gowns, beautiful gowns" how did someone actually put her in something so deeply unflattering!?

Toni Collette!

Yikes, that is a LOT of dress. So many sleeves! All the ruffled tiers! A formal turtleneck! Yikes!

Greta Gerwig!

This 90s trend is getting out of hand, y'all. She is like one barrette away from the 1996 sophomore formal. 

Kirsten Dunst!

You know, I don't know why I'm surprised that Kiki showed up wearing your great aunt's guest room bed skirt. 

And an announcement.... 

In the next post, we will formally retire the Patton Scale. If you watched the show or consumed the red carpet, I think you might know what the replacement will be. I want to take this opportunity to thank Paula Patton for wearing this bonkers dress to the 2014 Golden Globes. Paula, you have done so much for us in the past 6 years but it is time for us to update because there is now way worse fashion. 

Now and forever, we'll never forget.