Sexy _______ Halloween Costume Roundup 2019!

My dear ghouls and ghosts, welcome to our most dearly held holiday tradition: The Sexy ____ Halloween Costume Roundup! So many redundant entries this year! So many PBS personalities! So many... sandwiches? Before we begin, I would like to take this time to thank the Schmaddens for letting me use their computer since I encountered technical difficulties curating the list this year. Schmaddens, you are excellent friends and great moms. I, and all 12 Way Too Shay readers, thank you! Let's do this Rockapella!

Sexy Carmen Sandiego Pimp!

Well she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina and honestly this is offensive. 

Sexy Woody! (heh heh)

A jeans thong. 

Sexy Buzz Lightyear!

To infinity and bae-yond. I'll see myself out.

Sexy Cruella De Vil!

See, I would have to make a custom dalmatian print garter for this. Also the wig is way more Bellatrix than Cruella. I know it doesn't even come with the outfit but still - Yandy needs to step up their styling a bit. Speaking of Bellatrix....

 Sexy Slytherin Student!

Someday we'll get a Horny Hufflepuff costume and on that day, well, I'll just keep weeping because this is truly sexualizing children. More on that later. For now, let's just talk about the teeny tie that tucks into the tits. Phenomenally stupid.

Sexy Belle!

I will admit that I have done a Sexy Belle before, but it was in 2010 and those photos are just sort of blurs on the this blog now. Also this Sexy Belle is like.... extreme. If you can't decide between doing Sexy Belle (because you look amazing in gold) or Sexy Jasmine (because hello midriff), Yandy has you covered.

Sexy Minion!

I have been waiting for this day for many years and, finally, it is here. BANANA.

Sexy Wilma Flintstone!

I need you to know that there were absolutely no other Flintstones costumes featured in the "new for 2019" section of Yandy this year. Why Wilma? Why this costume? Why now? (And other dramaturgical questions from undergrad, etc.)

Sexy Chucky!

To be fair, I think this Sexy ____ costume is cleverly designed. Also kudos to the one and only model on Yandy who gets to wear sneakers. 

Sexy Sailor Moon!

First, a child character so nope right off the bat. That said, let's examine those hip cutouts. I would never willingly expose just those parts of my hips even though I have absolutely legendary hips. I cannot imagine anyone wants to do a peak-a-boo right there! The bathing suit part either has to be lower cut on the hips or the "skirt" has to be rethought. Oshiokiyo!

Sexy Elastigirl!

See this is what I'm saying! You can have the super high cut brief but it looks better if you've got other coverage as well. This looks, well, incredible.

Sexy Darth Vader!

The buttons look a BIT haphazard but this is kind of fun. You don't see too many Sexy ____ costumes surprise shorts, a favorite feature here on WTS.

Sexy Lydia Deetz!

Strange and unusual for sure. 

Sexy The Nun from The Nun!

As a person who went through many years of Catholic school, this is truly spooky. 

Sexy Annabelle!

Listen, this is a costume to wear if you're already boo'd up (that was not an intentional pun btw) because I'm not sure anyone at the Halloween party is gonna really want to hook up with the Sexy Haunted Doll. Though, on the other hand, maybe that's someone's greatest dream. Life is a rich tapestry. 

Sexy The Shining Twin!

CHILDREN. Ghost children, but still - CHILDREN.

Sexy Captain Marvel!

Redundant and points deducted for cold shoulder top. 

Sexy Toxic Video Britney Flight Attendant Outfit!

Me to Yandy: I'm addicted to you [we all] know that you're toxic. Sidebar: Toxic is a perfect pop song.

Sexy Bob Ross!

Again with the hip cutouts! Bob would never stand for such a thing! Those are not happy little hips! That said, the squirrel is a genius touch.

Sexy Mr. Rogers!

My dear readers, I appreciate each and every one of you who sent this to me as soon as you saw it. It's deeply disturbing but also impossible to unsee. Can we petition Tom Hanks to wear this while promoting his Mr. Rogers movie? That would really be something. 

Sexy Cardi B!

First of all, redundant. Secondively, long sigh. I know Yandy isn't exactly known for the diversity of its models but MAYBE try harder. Honestly, Yandy, if you try even just a little bit it would be a huge improvement. I guess I should be glad that they didn't make A Very Specific Makeup Choice. ugh

Sexy College Admissions Scandal! 

I shit you not.

Sexy Lil Kim!

First of all, how dare you. Second of all, redundant. Third of all, can you believe it's been 20 years since Lil Kim wore the inspiration for this costume on the VMA red carpet? Sometimes I just feel very lucky that I was alive to see it. 

Sexy "Miss Impeachment"!

In terms of political Sexy ____ costumes this is not the worst I've ever seen but ugh imagine how many times you're going to have to explain why you're wearing a whistle. Exhausting.

Sexy Judge!

This would have honestly been kind of helpful to me a few years ago when I was (as a joke to myself) Sexy Notorious RBG. 

I really commit to a bit.

Sexy Astronaut!

That's one giant leap for my boner, amirite?!

Sexy Hippie!

This is fairly low key for a Sexy ____ costume. 

Sexy Sailor Costume from Stranger Things!

That's what this is, right? Or is it just a generic sailor thing? Either way, just be careful you don't go tits ahoy!

Sexy Cop!

I actually gasped when I saw that the shirt was sheer with breast pockets as pasties. Like, how are more costumes on Yandy not sheer? And why was I surprised that this one was? (Also, imagine dressing up as a cop in the year of our lord 2019.)

Sexy Clown!

TWO PARTY HATS.

Sexy Girl Scout!

Yandy, I am begging you to stop sexualizing children. Just please stop.

Sexy Beyond Burger!

I feel like there's a lot of bun.

Sexy Popeye's Chicken Sandwich!

I have said this before but I'm pretty sad I was not in the meeting where the SOLD OUT placement was discussed. I probably would have pitched for it to be diagonal across one boob instead of over the uterus but what do I know. In other news, let's give it up for those....

Sexy Tater Tot!

Oh you bet your ass that says TATER THOT.

Sexy White Claw!

I think this is the most boring option this year.

Sexy Ouija Board!

The hands lovingly cradling the cleavage really sent me. That and the hilarious addition of a Magic 8 Ball for the photo. Amazing.

Okay, my dear readers, I have saved the "best" three for last....

Sexy Karen From Mean Girls!

What are you even doing? If you just wear a sexy dress and put on ears and say "I'm a mouse, duh" YOU ARE KAREN FROM MEAN GIRLS. This is too stupid. I love it.

Sexy Caution Tape!

But, like, the end of the roll of caution tape so you have to be judicious about how much CAUTION there is. This is my new all time favorite Sexy ___ costume. 

Sexy Gin!

I can't stop laughing every time I look at this. WHO DRESSES UP AS GIN!? This is truly just *chef's kiss*!

Happy Halloween!

2019 Emmy Awards Red Carpet Rundown: The WTF!

There are so many inexplicable outfits yet to see!

THE WTF

Janet Mock!

I am very impressed by her neck strength.

Alex Borstein!

She is wearing her own initials! I am so amused! But facts are facts: this is a costume designer's Masters thesis project. It is a full-on costume.

Carice van Houten!

I almost put this in the Good pile, y'all. I kind of love this dress and I am also feeling the Kabbalah/Frozen-era Madonna hair and makeup. Why is it in the WTF? Because honestly, with everything going on here, did we really need an exaggerated shoulder silhouette?!

James Van Der Beek!

I am concerned that JVDB thinks he's pulling this off. 

Greta Lee!

Head got stuck in the sleeve, decided to just go with it.

Michael K. Williams!

I do not think I've ever seen a suit with leather lapels before. And now I never wish to see one again.

Maisie Williams!

THIS DRESS HAS A SIDE PONYTAIL.

Indya Moore!

So what you're telling me is that you combined a corset with a chapel length loin cloth but the corset isn't so much a bustier as it is bunny ears? Huh. Okay.

Kendall Jenner!

Look, sometimes you have the Emmys at 5 and a fetish party at 10. 

Jenny McCarthy!

Yes, yes, very cute, Alice in Chains. No, we get it. You don't have to explain. Got it. 

Terrence Howard!

In other news, Terrence Howard just opened a Maverick-themed riverboat casino.

Gwendoline Christie!

I love the drama of this but it is 100% a costume. Or one of those face-in-hole boards but for religious imagery. 

Angela Bassett!

The lollipop purse is what makes it art.

Billy Porter!

Usually I am all about BP's red carpet looks but this one is not my fave. Honestly, if it wasn't for that hat, it's would have been in the Bad pile. But the hat is TRULY BANANAS. Didn't even fit in the frame of this photo I stole from the internet!

Natasha Lyonne!

I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it.

Dascha Polanco!

Puffed sleeves are just so DONE, you know? Now puffed bows on the other hand...

4 out of 5 Queer Eye Stars!

I could have split this up and analyzed them individually but you really need to have them together to get the full spirit of WTFery. Bobby is keeping it cas with a tshirt under his tux. Tan, of course, looks stunning though the ensemble looks like it weighs about a thousand pounds. Antoni probably was going for a James Bond thing but could very easily be in the title dance number for Hello Dolly! And Karamo... well, Karamo is wearing Céline Dion's billowing curtains from the "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" video.

Zoe Kazan!

This is the stupidest gown I have ever seen. That's pretty much all I have. SO STUPID.

Steven Canals!

Successful magician but make it fashion! Glitter tux with full length sleeves is everything I ever needed. Full Tonga!