Ah, 2014. The year that saw Julie Bowen and Sarah Paulson go on probation. FINALLY. The year that Cate Blanchett dressed as a valet key case for the Oscars. The year that Edie Falco was incapable of wearing something, anything that fit. The year that man buns were A Thing. The year that Jared Leto toured his Rock and Roll Jesus getup to all the award shows. The year that Julia Roberts wore an aquarium as a dress. Yes, it's been quite a year. In no particular order, here are perhaps not the worst of the worst but definitely the looks that stuck in my mind.
THE BAD
Alexa Chung at the Met Ball!
The cop's face in the background just sort of says it all, huh? This is one of the ugliest dresses I think I've ever seen.
Kate Mara at the Tonys!
I still think this dress looks like one of those Ugly Dolls.
Taylor Swift at the VMAs!
Every time I hear "Blank Space" I picture her in this uncomfortunate onesie. It's kind of ruining that song for me.
Sally Hawkins at the Golden Globes!
Grandma Sal was one of the most memorable looks of the year for me. Not in a good way.
Christina Hendricks at the Emmys!
When La Hendricks strays from Christian Siriano, things get bad. Like bitter-sexy-aunt-at-a-wedding bad.
Solange at the Met Ball!
Straight up,
Solange's wedding was one of my top three fashion moments of the year but before that came this: the giant peach vagina dress of our nightmares.
Malin Ackerman at the SAGs!
You know, it's been almost a whole year since I saw this dress and I still can't figure out why anyone would wear it. It's like a macrame plant hanger gone terribly wrong.
Anna Kendrick at the Oscars!
This might actually be my least favorite gown of the year, as well as one of the most memorable. Who could possibly forget the kitchen backsplash torso of doom? She definitely got Patton'd for this.
BONUS SECTION!
In going through my files, my dear readers, I was reminded of one of my favorite non-celebrity fashion events of the year: the girl in the blue dress in the background of half the Golden Globe photos. And so I present to you
A TRIBUTE TO THE GIRL IN THE BLUE DRESS IN THE BACKGROUND
Just arriving on the scene, not worried about Ariel Winter....
Obviously too busy to acknowledge Aubrey Plaza's middle school style...
Purposely ignoring Robin Wright's ho hum look...
Trying not to laugh...
And the, like the rest of us, giving up on life upon seeing Naomi Watts.
I love you, Girl In Blue.
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