Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Sexy ____ costumes of our lives. We gather here, in the midst of great upheaval and plenty of terrible things going on in the world, to distract ourselves by seeing how our friends at Yandy have outdone themselves this year. I hope you'll enjoy what I've found for you. It is always so nice to be here with you for a few minutes, my dear readers.
Sexy Flash!
So this year Yandy had a few photos that were taken... artfully? In someone's dining room? I thought I'd start with one of them so you too could appreciate the complementary lighting of this confusing setting. Maybe they were trying to help you envision how this costume will look at your neighbor's house when your situationship shows up at the Halloween party? I'm seeing like 5 legs (lady, table, chair) - how many legs is too many legs for a Sexy ___ costume?
Sexy Nascar/Formula 1!
I don't know the difference and I'm not sure I care to learn. Love the equality of men getting jumpsuits now so we can all be left absolutely naked in the bathroom, alone with our choices, when it's time to pee.
Sexy Madonna!
Number one, redundant. Number two, the wig is wrong. If you're gonna make me feel old please at least have the high long pony with braid detail. Don't go for second best, baby.
Sexy Elvis!
Honestly? No notes. This is hilarious. We HAD to have bell bottoms but we CANNOT POSSIBLY have pants because Sexy, so this is truly the obvious solution. With slits in the bell bottoms for added Sexy. Yandy, I would do anything to be in these brainstorming sessions.
Sexy Dolly Parton!
First of all, how dare you.
Sexy Slash!
Sexy Slash is the costume I that surprised me the most this year and one of the ones I was most delighted to see. Who is asking for this? Sidebar: One time a million years ago I thought I saw Slash at an amazing classic Vegas showgirls show (Lord Vampire and His Erotic Angels of Rock) but then at the end I realized I was in Vegas and that dude was definitely a Slash impersonator. But for a moment? It was really him.
Sexy Shrek!
SomeBODY once told me for a Sexy ___ costume this is fairly modest. I'd buy it for the onion bag, honestly.
Sexy Big Bird!
Another year, another version of Sexy Sesame Street characters for reasons beyond my comprehension. We're back in the dining room and now we have far more legs... in fact there are 8! Eight is a lot of legs, David.
Sexy Oscar the Grouch!
Seriously, whose house is this? Is the wood paneling actually wallpaper? And why would you design this costume to make it look like girlfriend is being consumed by Oscar the Grouch? He is not the Sesame Street character who famously consumes...
Sexy Cookie Monster!
Uh oh, she's eating her own boobs.
Not the full body stocking and pumps!
Sexy Lion!
No shoes for this king of the jungle! He must be part of the Pit Crew. Anyway, as they say in the streets, le rowr.Do we think Yandy experimented with different lengths for the apron or did they nail it on the first try? See what I did there? Nail it? I'll see myself out. I cannot lie to you, I kind of love that this is a mashup of Jason and one of Jason's typical victims. Ki ki ki ma ma ma etc. THE HEART EYES. That really sent me. RIP me.
Sexy Art the Clown!
I am not often surprised by the Sexy ____ costume industry but this one really caught me off-guard. Sexy Pennywise? Sure. Sexy Freddy Krueger? Every year. But Sexy Art the Clown? Now that's a first.
Y'all, I think it is possible that our beloved Yandy has made a Sexy Way Too Shay costume. Listen, you can throw a cowboy hat on it and call it "Denim Wrangler Cowboy Costume" (see link) but we all know this is truly a Sexy Tribute to Us. Holy shit, you guys, I think this is an official crossover event!
Happy Halloween my friends!
