Thursday, September 23, 2021

2021 Met Gala Red Carpet Rundown: The Bad

 Remember how painful it was to see MJB in the Meh? Hold on to your hats (quite literally in some instances here) because some much beloved WTS faves made some Choices at the Met Ball.

Taika Waititi (seen here with Rita Ora)!
As a "long time-long time" of Who? Weekly, one of the most fun podcasts of all time, it brings me extreme joy to feature Rita Ora. I actually have no problem with her getup, as it is both very Rita and very pretty and I know I just dinged Kate Hudson for a crop top but this is actually far MORE clothing than I've ever seen on Rita so that's that. I want to talk to you about Taika Waititi and the fact that he flew to New York with his suit folded in a suitcase and did not have the decency to steam it before the Met Gala. Perhaps I'm on my Jump To Conclusions Mat but you look at the creases on that jacket and tell me what else could have possibly happened. I am horrified. Crunch crunch.

Cynthia Erivo!
Holy shit, this is the couture version of a Ta-Ta Towel! Also... I am desperately hoping that one of you, my dear readers, is an owner of a Ta-Ta Towel because I need the first hand scoop on these things. They are hilar.

Rebecca Hall!
Upstairs, Downstairs, Fetish Dungeon.

Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello!
This was an extreme amount of effort. The effort is just pouring off of them. That does not make it good.

Gillian Anderson!
It looks like her midsection is still loading.

Symone!
Current reigning in the wrong color wig and cliffhangers? I love you, what are you doing? The dress is killer, though.

Emily Ratajkowski!
They grew old together, and soon Emily Ratajkowski became very sick. The doctor said she would die soon. Her husband sat by her bed, becoming increasingly distraught and then he finally said, "Please, tell me now, why do you always wear that gigantic flower at your neck?" In a croaky voice, Emily Ratajkowski replied, "Okay, I'll tell you. Take it off now." Her husband reached for the absolutely gigantic flower with trembling fingers. He pulled it loose and her head fell off.

Julia Garner!
Wow, in a big surprise to myself, I hate visible bathing suit under sheer gown even more than I hate visible granny panties. 

Kristen Stewart!
Yo, I am so hype to see her in Spencer - the trailer dropped today and it looks GREAT. Unlike this outfit which is the opposite of great. Generously, I can read this as a take on American Fashion that nods to Elvis and Roy Orbison and the intersection of country and rock... but that's gonna be a stretch. Her hair and makeup are great, so that's something?

Tracee Ellis Ross!
Strong choices.

Diane Kruger!
I really like the color combination. Not on her, per se, but I like the butter neon outfit with hot fuchsia shoes. I am really baffled by this look - workout shirt with extra long train and bubble skirt which could very well be formal shorts? I know that Diane likes to push it but yikes. Oh and speaking of formal shorts...

Vera Wang!
Oh girl, oh no. Oh no no no.

Regina King (seen here with Michael Kors)!
This hurts me. 

Regina King: Wears upscale Guys and Dolls costume to the Met Gala
Meg:

Regina, you may have to consciously uncouple from MK. Dick Tracy But Make It Fashion is NOT IT.

Maisie Williams!
Bubble, bubble, toil and... all that jazz!

Jennifer Lynn Lopez (who should have been nominated for many awards for Hustlers)!
Jennifer! Just because you are doing a fun reboot with Ben does not need we also need an edgy reboot of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman! This is hilar, this is a costume, this is... oh my god, JLo came as Sexy Wyatt Earp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For that and that alone, this has earned Full Paltrow.












 




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