Friday, October 30, 2026

Sexy __________ Halloween Costume Roundup 2026!

My dear readers, it's spooky season once again and you know what that means: time to check in with our friends at Yandy. I'm sorry to tell you we have no dining room photo shoots this year. But don't worry: the offerings are still completely bananas (note: no Sexy Banana). 

Before we get into the latest crop of ridiculous Sexy ____ costumes, I do want to recognize one of the new offerings that caught my eye for purely nostalgic purposes. A few years ago... actually, oh no, I just realized it was definitely more like a couple of decades ago, ugh... I first was entertained by the concept of the incongruous sexy costume by way of a "Sexy Bee" costume from Target. I couldn't get my head around what could possibly be sexy about a bee and I was just absolutely amused by the idea of such a costume choice. And now, here we are these (*gulp*) ~20 years later and Yandy has a brand new Sexy Bee costume. 

Sexy Bee!

Over the years, we've seen so many ridiculous things that this seems tame and pedestrian. But traditions and lived experience are important, so give it up for the OG Sexy ____ costume in my life. All hail!

Sexy Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice!

Okay, first of all failure to commit to the bit and go with a full teal face really does not do this costume the justice it deserves. I cannot believe we have waited this long for a Sexy Miss Argentina costume! I would like to assure you (and fact check me by clicking the link) that the body suit is absolutely a thong.

Redundant but we'll allow it. Costume DOES NOT include succubus abilities but DOES include "matching panty." Thank god.

Oh sure, we've seen Sexy Cat in the Hat before, but just as each generation must have a new CITH movie thrust upon them so too must we periodically get new Sexy CITH costumes. The innovation this time is furry boobs! My god, I wish I worked in Yandy's brainstorming department.

I'm sorry, WHAT?! This is absolutely bananas, especially if you are like me and consider American Psycho (film adaptation only) to be a deeply feminist horror film. Highly recommend supplementing this costume with a Huey Lewis CD and some business cards.

If you were worried we wouldn't have any Sexy dolls this Halloween, fear not! She's hot and she's haunted - what more could you want?

Honestly, not too far off in terms of character accuracy, as Pooh famously does not wear pants.

Sexy Lord Farquad!
In past years we've had Sexy Fiona and Sexy Shrek so it is truly past due for us to get a Sexy Lord Farquad costume... but imagine choosing this? 

It took me a few minutes to figure out what character this was supposed to be (Hawaiian Mayhem Babe is the non-copywritten name) but once it clicked, oh how delighted I was! 

Every once in a while, Yandy will toss some scraps to the men. Pictured here: some scraps.

Sexy Cocktails! (Espresso Martini, Dirty Martini, Orange Crush)


If these three walk into your Halloween party, just assume someone will be screaming, crying, throwing up (literal) before the end of the night. 

Sexy Sonic the Hedgehog!

The tufts of fur at the tops of the hips are what make it art.

A nice addition to Yandy's scary sexy options, I think! And there's a man version for folks going for a couple's costume:

Okay, maybe this isn't actually Silent Hill - it's probably just supposed to be a Sexy Mummy or something. But I can't tell you because I tried to look up Silent Hill characters on Google images and almost all of them had the little blurred eye, which tells me that is Too Scary For Meg. I am okay being wrong in my wrongness. Sexy Silent Hill Couples Costume, sayeth I.

Sexy Scottish Lad and Lassie!




Knee highs for him, thigh highs for her. You know what is absolutely not included for either of these costumes??? A matching panty.

There is not one universe where this costume doesn't end in a tits ahoy moment. Not one universe.

OMG Ashleigh, so glad you are coming to the party with us. We're all being sexy animals. Katelyn is being a Sexy Cat, Adelyn is being a Sexy Leopard, Brooklynn is being a Sexy Lion, Raelyn is being a Sexy Tiger, Madilynn is being a Sexy Cheetah.... you can be a Sexy Skunk. Sorry, that's all they have left. 

Yes. Really. 

Here it is folks: the most absolutely unhinged and hilarous Sexy ____ costume for 2026: literally a prize winning cow! Other companies would have just gone with full body stocking but not our friends at Yandy, no. They said, hold on just one moment! What that Sexy Cow is missing is a pink string bikini, matching coller, and a prize ribbon! Thank you, Yandy. In these uncertain times we rely on you for Sexy ___ costume consistency and you absolutely deliver, year after year.
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Friday, October 31, 2025

Sexy __________ Halloween Costume Roundup 2025!

Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Sexy ____ costumes of our lives. We gather here, in the midst of great upheaval and plenty of terrible things going on in the world, to distract ourselves by seeing how our friends at Yandy have outdone themselves this year. I hope you'll enjoy what I've found for you. It is always so nice to be here with you for a few minutes, my dear readers. 

Sexy Flash!

So this year Yandy had a few photos that were taken... artfully? In someone's dining room? I thought I'd start with one of them so you too could appreciate the complementary lighting of this confusing setting. Maybe they were trying to help you envision how this costume will look at your neighbor's house when your situationship shows up at the Halloween party? I'm seeing like 5 legs (lady, table, chair) - how many legs is too many legs for a Sexy ___ costume?

Sexy Nascar/Formula 1!

I don't know the difference and I'm not sure I care to learn. Love the equality of men getting jumpsuits now so we can all be left absolutely naked in the bathroom, alone with our choices, when it's time to pee.


Sexy Madonna!

Number one, redundant. Number two, the wig is wrong. If you're gonna make me feel old please at least have the high long pony with braid detail. Don't go for second best, baby.


Sexy Elvis!


Honestly? No notes. This is hilarious. We HAD to have bell bottoms but we CANNOT POSSIBLY have pants because Sexy, so this is truly the obvious solution. With slits in the bell bottoms for added Sexy. Yandy, I would do anything to be in these brainstorming sessions.


Sexy Dolly Parton!


First of all, how dare you.


Sexy Slash!

Sexy Slash is the costume I that surprised me the most this year and one of the ones I was most delighted to see. Who is asking for this? 

Sidebar: One time a million years ago I thought I saw Slash at an amazing classic Vegas showgirls show (Lord Vampire and His Erotic Angels of Rock) but then at the end I realized I was in Vegas and that dude was definitely a Slash impersonator. But for a moment? It was really him.


Sexy Shrek!

SomeBODY once told me for a Sexy ___ costume this is fairly modest. I'd buy it for the onion bag, honestly.


Sexy Big Bird!


Another year, another version of Sexy Sesame Street characters for reasons beyond my comprehension. We're back in the dining room and now we have far more legs... in fact there are 8! Eight is a lot of legs, David.


Sexy Oscar the Grouch!

Seriously, whose house is this? Is the wood paneling actually wallpaper? And why would you design this costume to make it look like girlfriend is being consumed by Oscar the Grouch? He is not the Sesame Street character who famously consumes... 


Sexy Cookie Monster!

Uh oh, she's eating her own boobs.



Not the full body stocking and pumps!

Is this a Sexy Starfish?


Sexy Lion!
No shoes for this king of the jungle! He must be part of the Pit Crew. Anyway, as they say in the streets, le rowr.

Do we think Yandy experimented with different lengths for the apron or did they nail it on the first try? See what I did there? Nail it? I'll see myself out.

I cannot lie to you, I kind of love that this is a mashup of Jason and one of Jason's typical victims. Ki ki ki ma ma ma etc.

THE HEART EYES. That really sent me. RIP me.


Sexy Art the Clown!
I am not often surprised by the Sexy ____ costume industry but this one really caught me off-guard. Sexy Pennywise? Sure. Sexy Freddy Krueger? Every year. But Sexy Art the Clown? Now that's a first.



Y'all, I think it is possible that our beloved Yandy has made a Sexy Way Too Shay costume. Listen, you can throw a cowboy hat on it and call it "Denim Wrangler Cowboy Costume" (see link) but we all know this is truly a Sexy Tribute to Us. Holy shit, you guys, I think this is an official crossover event!


Happy Halloween my friends!
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Thursday, October 31, 2024

Sexy __________ Halloween Costume Roundup 2024!

My dear readers, how lovely it is to see you again! Like Mariah Carey at Christmas, WTS defrosts once a year to bring the people what they want: the latest in skimpy Halloween costumes! Shout out to longtime readers who sent me photos and videos of some of the dumbest and best Sexy ____ costumes of the year. I am truly, truly touched to be thought of when you see some cake hanging out of a costume. As far as legacies go, this is one to cherish. Eat your heart out, Hamilton. 

But first, let us honor the patron saint of this hallowed holiday, David S. Pumpkins.


¿Preguntas?


Okay, considering the Cheshire Cat can sort of disappear different parts of its body at will, it is very funny that parts of a full outfit have been disappeared from this getup. But I do take issue with the fact that they didn't have the model smile, which is kind of the whole Cheshire Cat thing. 

Considering recent announcements, it's a tough time to feel good about Sexy Blade. But hey! This costume is generic enough to be Sexy... Matrix Person. I made a vow in 1999 to never watch any Matrix movies, so I have no idea what the character name is, sorry. 

How very dare you, Yandy! How very dare!

Yandy think tank: Hrrmmmm we have the pattern for the Sexy Leiderhosen. What else could we do with that pattern? What else... hrmmm.... I'VE GOT IT! 

But wait! It's a group costume...

This is a new kind of cleavage reveal for Yandy! How creative! But wait... there's more....

The tiny tie! 

Now that the shortage is over and we can truly feel love again, it's time to celebrate by dressing up as a sexy bottle of sauce! 

Sexy Spider-Man!
Sure!

Indeed, what CAN brown do for you?

Ain't no virgins lighting no candles tonight, amirite!?

Okay, so this costume is called Slasher but I think maybe it's just the blood part? Like just the wall splatter? I am confused about a knife through the head AND in the hand, too. Is she the killer or the killed? I don't want to have to think this hard about Sexy ____ costumes.

Sexy Beyonce is redundant but I'm bring this to you because... well, because Beyonce, but also because it has a companion piece!

The rare men's Sexy ___ costume with either rarer chaps shorts! I'm beyond delighted!

And this is the other offering for this year's Sexy ____ for men, but could easily work for a Sexy Cavewoman as well! You know what they say about Yandy: versatile.

I mean, I guess that's what we're getting at with this costume? I actually watched that movie (from behind my hands, cowered in fear on the couch) so maybe I'm trying to shoehorn this in. Whatever, it's a Sexy Religious Person Of Some Sort. Credit where it's due: the boob crosses are very funny. 

Sexy Elphaba!
And nobody in all of Oz, no wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring Yandy down! Option up!

Sexy G(a)linda!

One thing's for sure: you. will. be. popular!

It is dangerous to hoe alone. Take this. (I'll see myself out.)

In this case, I cannot make a better joke that what Yandy has actually called this costume so here you go: Hoeing in the Air. (I'll see Yandy out.)

Not this costume being the medicine pen! Many thanks and love to the dear readers who reached out to make sure I saw this one. It's so dumb. I love it.

The mystery! The intrigue! The table cloth skirt! The legs on the neck! 

This is a niche joke but I assure you it's very funny.

Okay, the photo is cropped - do you think she's holding actual Starbucks cups and they had to cut them out of the picture for copyright reasons? Like the same reason this costume is "Starstruck Mermaid"??? We all know that one of the best parts of non-licensed Halloween costumes is what they have to name them so cosumers know the intention without getting sued by the trademark holders. I think this model lost her hands over some coffee cups! 

That is a child's apron.

Another year, another Sexy Space Princess. But I had to include this to set the tone because there are some new Sexy Star Wars lewks this year and ... well, just put down your apple cider preemptively.

That is a lot of fur! 

It does not come with the perfectly matching wig but it does come with, per the product description, "iconic headpiece." In the words of Ziwe: Sexy Yoda, you'd be an iconic guest. 

THE BUCKET HAT! THE BUCKET HAT COMES WITH THE COSTUME! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sexy Stanley Cup!
This is SO so stupid, I love it. I love the handle on the glove. I love the straw coming directly out of the head. This is the dumbest costume of the year and I am here for it!

Sexy Grimace!
We did it, Joe! For years, I have been calling for a Sexy Grimace costume and it's finally here. I cannot believe it took the goddamn Mets to make this happen but, you know, when you make wishes it's important to specify the details around the wish. Otherwise you get a Sexy Grimace costume only because the Phillies lost the NL East. Whatever, a win is a win. 

Happy Halloween! 
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