It's the most wonderful time of the year! You know how people say that the only things that will survive the apocalypse are Twinkies and cockroaches? I feel like we should add Yandy's Sexy ____ costumes to that list because even through a pandemic they FOUND A WAY to bring you a whole new bunch of costumes that will showcase parts of your body you didn't know you needed to shave.
Many thanks to the tens of you (not an exaggeration) who sent me the Sexy COVID-19 costume that was making the rounds on the internet. I will not be including it here because it is the same as the Sexy Ebola costume from 2014 but this time with face shield. Also, please note that Yandy did not make the Sexy Ebola costume in 2014 and released a statement this year saying they would not make a Sexy COVID costume. If you are considering a Sexy COVID nurse costume this year for, what? your very intimate gathering of just you? I would like you to truly reflect on this: if it's too far for Yandy, it should be too far for you. Maybe instead consider being Jessica who is 34 or Mark who is 24.
SEXY POP CULTURE COSTUMESSince I just mentioned Love Is Blind, let's go with the other collective Netflix obsession from this year. I'll admit I'm a little confused about why there is a modesty panel on a Yandy product. 2020 is wild. I deeply love the peep toe thigh high jeans boots for this costume; I think they really make the look. By the way, the peep toe thigh high jeans boots do not come with the outfit.
Offensive. I am offended. How very dare.
She's back, Bitch! Are you a slave to sexy? Oops, you did it again, but your die-hard babes aren't sad about your daring debut. Get caught reminiscing on your '90s teen stardom in this exclusive Slay For You Superstar costume featuring a green mesh crop top with rhinestone embellishments, adjustable spaghetti straps, matching denim booty shorts with butterfly detailing, a front zipper, rhinestone bejeweled accents with multi-color draping mesh panels, and a yellow slithering snake shoulder drape. (Shoes not included.)Please have this inscribed on my tombstone.
Because we are celebrating Mortal Kombat 11 I suppose? This one is called Finish Him while....
is called Fem Fatality. Listen, I hate a pun but that one can stay. That is dumb in the perfect way.
Okay, y'all. It's not usual that I do this but I'm about to give you my favorite Sexy ____ costume of the year in the middle of the post. This is hilariously 30+ years out of relevance and could not make me laugh more. It might be one of my all time favorites, actually. Without further ado, I give you...
As the children say, I am screaming! I find this extremely hilarious but also potentially very upsetting because you know the most famous line is "if it bleeds we can kill it" and I feel like misogyny is gonna just go wild on that one. If that happens to you, Sexy Predator, you know what to do: GET TO THA CHOPPA!
But Meg, I hear you saying, the Sexy Schoolgirl is surely one of the most basic of all Sexy ___ costumes! Certainly we've seen this before, you say. And while this is true and I try my best to only give you the freshest and newest Sexy ___ costumes each year.... LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTELY BONKERS SLEEVES SITUATION! Is this Yandy's version of all those Halloweens my mom ruined my costume by making me wear a turtleneck under it because October 31 is cold in NJ? That's possible. But I'd like to entertain a more cerebral approach. I believe this costume is meant to give the owner of the gaze [male-intended, I'm sure] to feel as though they suddenly developed X-ray vision! This person is clearly wearing a full shirt and long skirt but because of your X-ray vision, you can see the bra and thigh highs hidden within! It's like magic eye but for boobs.
I like that the wings are not only on the back but also on the breasts. The ones on the boobs look like jazz hands, so even better.
Le Jizz Hot, amirite?