Friday, October 30, 2020

Sexy _____ Halloween Costume Roundup 2020!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! You know how people say that the only things that will survive the apocalypse are Twinkies and cockroaches? I feel like we should add Yandy's Sexy ____ costumes to that list because even through a pandemic they FOUND A WAY to bring you a whole new bunch of costumes that will showcase parts of your body you didn't know you needed to shave. 

Many thanks to the tens of you (not an exaggeration) who sent me the Sexy COVID-19 costume that was making the rounds on the internet. I will not be including it here because it is the same as the Sexy Ebola costume from 2014 but this time with face shield. Also, please note that Yandy did not make the Sexy Ebola costume in 2014 and released a statement this year saying they would not make a Sexy COVID costume. If you are considering a Sexy COVID nurse costume this year for, what? your very intimate gathering of just you? I would like you to truly reflect on this: if it's too far for Yandy, it should be too far for you. Maybe instead consider being Jessica who is 34 or Mark who is 24


Sexy Tiger King!

Since I just mentioned Love Is Blind, let's go with the other collective Netflix obsession from this year. I'll admit I'm a little confused about why there is a modesty panel on a Yandy product. 2020 is wild. I deeply love the peep toe thigh high jeans boots for this costume; I think they really make the look. By the way, the peep toe thigh high jeans boots do not come with the outfit.

So you know how Yandy can't just like name something with it is? Like Sexy Tinkerbell has to be like Sassy Twinkle Fairy or something like that? I suppose this is for legal reasons (esp. dealing with The Mouse) but it is one of the truly bizarre parts of the Sexy ___ costume industry. Anyway this costume is called Coolest Cat, in a blatant nod to That Bitch Carole Baskins and her standard "hey all you cool cats and kittens" greeting. And yes, on the website this is shown as a companion costume to Sexy Joe Exotic.

Sexy Prince!
Offensive. I am offended. How very dare.

Okay so this is obviously the Slave 4 U At The VMAs With The Python, but interpreted by way of Steven Tyler's microphone stand. What in the name of Stevie Nicks is happening with these rando scarves!? I absolutely must show you the copy on the product page because it is INCREDIBLE.
She's back, Bitch! Are you a slave to sexy? Oops, you did it again, but your die-hard babes aren't sad about your daring debut. Get caught reminiscing on your '90s teen stardom in this exclusive Slay For You Superstar costume featuring a green mesh crop top with rhinestone embellishments, adjustable spaghetti straps, matching denim booty shorts with butterfly detailing, a front zipper, rhinestone bejeweled accents with multi-color draping mesh panels, and a yellow slithering snake shoulder drape. (Shoes not included.)
Please have this inscribed on my tombstone.

Sexy Mortal Kombat 1!
Because we are celebrating Mortal Kombat 11 I suppose? This one is called Finish Him while....

Sexy Mortal Kombat 2!
is called Fem Fatality. Listen, I hate a pun but that one can stay. That is dumb in the perfect way.

Okay, y'all. It's not usual that I do this but I'm about to give you my favorite Sexy ____ costume of the year in the middle of the post. This is hilariously 30+ years out of relevance and could not make me laugh more. It might be one of my all time favorites, actually. Without further ado, I give you...

As the children say, I am screaming! I find this extremely hilarious but also potentially very upsetting because you know the most famous line is "if it bleeds we can kill it" and I feel like misogyny is gonna just go wild on that one. If that happens to you, Sexy Predator, you know what to do: GET TO THA CHOPPA!


Okay sure but what's up with the extremely high garters? How? What does the butt look like with those under the white shorts/underwear? 

Sexy Schoolgirl!

But Meg, I hear you saying, the Sexy Schoolgirl is surely one of the most basic of all Sexy ___ costumes! Certainly we've seen this before, you say. And while this is true and I try my best to only give you the freshest and newest Sexy ___ costumes each year.... LOOK AT THIS ABSOLUTELY BONKERS SLEEVES SITUATION! Is this Yandy's version of all those Halloweens my mom ruined my costume by making me wear a turtleneck under it because October 31 is cold in NJ? That's possible. But I'd like to entertain a more cerebral approach. I believe this costume is meant to give the owner of the gaze [male-intended, I'm sure] to feel as though they suddenly developed X-ray vision! This person is clearly wearing a full shirt and long skirt but because of your X-ray vision, you can see the bra and thigh highs hidden within! It's like magic eye but for boobs.

This is fairly deluxe! Not entirely sure how I feel about the large tufts of fur around the bikini line - seems like it would tickle or itch.

This just look exhausting. Imagine trying to pee in this thing!?

As you may know, my #1 favorite of all time is the Sexy Bee. I find it utterly ridiculous to imagine a bee being sexy and, indeed, it is the Sexy Bee that launched me into this unending spiral as a Sexy ___ costume connoisseur. You may also know I hate puns. All of that said, omg someone please buy me this.

I like that the wings are not only on the back but also on the breasts. The ones on the boobs look like jazz hands, so even better.

You know she's a fallen angel because she only has the titty wings, not the regular wings too. 

This is 100% see through. Love the Misfits mask.

I have to admit that with the mask, I am little confused. Is the skeleton Rene Elizando's memorable hands or is the skeleton Janet herself? 

I'd like to believe that this is a pair of the jeans underwear or jeans swimsuit bottoms that Keke Palmer's character was trying to sell in Hustlers. Incidentally, Jennifer Lynn Lopez should have won many awards for that movie. I'm still mad.

Sexy Flapper!
Le Jizz Hot, amirite?

I'm not mad at it, though I feel like I've seen something like this on every queen who shows up to RuPaul's Drag Race not knowing how to sew. At least there seem to be hems. In fact, everywhere you look there's a hem.


This costume is called Banana Bread Boredom. I am absolutely serious. The designers at Yandy sat around their virtual table in late spring and discussed what are the topical costumes that could come out of the pandemic and someone apparently was like, "Everyone on my social media feeds is baking banana bread because they don't know what else to do." And everyone else on the zoom decided to make it a costume. God, I wish I worked at Yandy.

The sticker placements truly elevate it.

You know how I know this is a letter carrier? It says it on the shirt. The shirt with the buttons that only go to the underboob line. And yet we gave Sexy Joe Exotic a modesty panel. Go figure.

Oh yes they did.

In closing, thanks to Yandy for being our favorite resource for Sexy ___ costumes and for coming through this year even in a pandemic. Oh and Yandy, if you are reading this, you truly need to examine the lack of racial and ethnic diversity among your models. Happy Halloween y'all! Wear a mask!

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Emmys 2020 "Red Carpet" Rundown: The WTF and Doing A Bit!

My dear readers, I cannot in good conscience give you the Sexy ______ Halloween Costume Roundup without finishing the Emmys. I have very limited brain space, though, so I'm going to go ahead and skip the Meh. WHAT!? Yes, that's right. I don't actually want to talk about how Reese was a snooze and why Issa should consider not wearing coral. I'd much rather talk about the fun stuff, wouldn't you? It's a pandemic, the election is a minute away, and the police are brutalizing my neighbors instead of helping them so I just kind of don't care about hem lengths that much today. 

As you may remember, we are not doing The Bad because that's just cruel. Everyone was basically in their house, Kerry Washington's backyard, some random Canadian courtyard, or conducting a one person halftime show in an empty stadium and it's not fair to say anyone looked bad. However it is absolutely fair to say WTF and also to recognize those who committed to Doing a Bit. And they're all right here!


Tracee Ellis Ross!

Nothing but respect for laying out your own bit of red carpet next to a tree! That is the kind of extra I expect from TER. That said, she might need to go back to Party City where she belongs.

Kieran Culkin!
How many bracelets is too many bracelets? Asking for a friend.

Jeremy Strong!
It's an extraordinary volume of the drabbest possible shade of brown. But the little floppy tie makes it art.


Tony Shalhoub!
Why an ascot? But also why NOT an ascot?

Julia Garner!
What in the green light across the lake is going on here? She's all roarin' 20s while Foster the People is in a silk tiger robe. WHAT WAS THE BRIEF???

Samira Wiley!
Full face, peep toe heels, diamonds, and pajamas. This is what I envisioned adult sleepovers would be like.

Alex Borstein!
Congratulations to Alex Borstein for finally living her dream of Doing A Bit and having it work fairly well. This was the other kind of adult sleepover I envisioned in my youth.

Ted Danson!
Ted Danson, casually in his kitchen. Of course he is.

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Emmys 2020 "Red Carpet" Rundown: The Good!

Against all odds, the Emmys happened. And against all odds, there was fashion! Sort of! Mostly! Sometimes overwhelmingly so! Many of our stars had to figure out their looks with a slightly smaller team than usual so we are not only grading on a curve, we are also changing one of the piles this time around. That's right! I am eliminating The Bad this time (even though... you know there definitely were) and instead instituting a temporary pile: Doing A Bit. Alex Borstein should be excited to have finally found her place on WTS. We're going to cover (in this order): The Good, The Meh, The WTF, and Doing A Bit. We shall start, as we always do, with our queen.


Regina King!

Who but Regina King could serve us High Fashion On The Roof Of My Building But OMG This Wind and then turn around and put on the fuchsia blazer that I have only seen in my dreams and a Breonna Taylor shirt to accept her incredibly well-deserved award. Regina King is the best actor of her generation and I'm glad she is getting many prizes. Who else could deliver all the best lines in Jerry Maguire, captivate as Sister Night, and perhaps most importantly be Riley AND Huey. If you're thinking that maybe it didn't matter what Regina King wore, you might be right. But I love the color saturated updated 80s silhouettes she gave us and whatever, like 12 people read this so I am basically just writing in my diary. Dear Diary, I love Regina King. Gotta go, bye. 

Kerry Washington!

Regina was not the only person to bring multiple looks to the Distant Emmys! I do not typically agree with Kerry Washington's clothes but I am on board for both of these dresses. I have a quibble about those earrings with the beaded gown but it's small - I'd do posts and then throw some black diamonds on the clavicle - yes, yes, CUAN but in a way that is not terribly offensive to me. Well done, Kerry! For once I didn't hate it!

To be honest, I don't like the second dress that much but I am in love with her styling for #2. I really love the first dress but not feeling the hair all that much. I'm giving Zendaya a composite score of Pretty Awesome.

Shira Haas!
I have never missed a red carpet more than when I was trying to piece together photos for this run down. I appreciate Shira Haas moving the bookshelf and ottoman out of the way and pointing a lamp directly at her own face. The look is cool and youthful and I absolutely covet the shoes.

Just happy it wasn't a luchador mask.

Anthony Anderson and Sterling K. Brown!
Anthony's tie was a skosh too big but that suit was GORGEOUS on him. As usual, Sterling brings his magic to the awards show and looks effortlessly amazing. Do I wish I had photos of them standing separately? Yes. Did I google for that? Absolutely not. I had to find 80 pictures of Regina King so I could write in my diary. It's a pandemic. I'm tired. 

Billy Porter!
Continuing the trend of beautiful humans sitting on cushions that don't know how lucky they are, here is Billy Porter giving us Lenny Kravitz's Scarf But Make It Fashion. I am extremely impressed by this outfit because I know when I'm home waiting to appear on awards shows I am typically snacking and I definitely would have spilled. 

Robin Thede!
While this definitely Could Use A Necklace, I stared at this with my mouth agape for a full 15 seconds when I first saw it. She. Looks. STUNNING. 

Yvonne Orji!
MORE undeserving cushions! Molly looks great - the cut, the color, the head, the legs, THAT ARM, the lip color... just great all around.

Laverne Cox!
This dress was outrageously great. If I got 3 wishes, this would not be one of them but if I got more than 3 I would wish for Laverne to wear this dress to the 2019 Emmys so I could see it in the glam cam or whatever the heck they call it. I need to see every angle. Also I would be remiss if I didn't point out that Eric really nailed it when he said, "Laverne Cox and this Roxie Hart hair!!!!!" The correct take.

Uzo Aduba!
Now there is a gold lamé skirt behind this dining room table that has become an office desk due to pandemic and I do not know if it is beautiful and flowing (like I want it to be) or more in the Tracee Ellis Ross Party City vibe (we'll get there). I am choosing to believe that it is beautiful because you don't just get a boat neck Breonna Taylor custom statement tee and not have a good gold lamé skirt. Apart from all that, Uzo's makeup is flawless and her hair looks really cute. 

Dan Levy!
I do not have strong enough words to tell you how much I love this look. It's extremely sexy and meticulously styled, with major attention paid to the stripes motif. My favorite look of the night, hands down. What is the opposite of Ew David?

Monday, May 4, 2020

The 2020 Way Too Shay Met Gala!

My dear readers, May the Fourth be with you. Today is the First Monday in May which, any other year, would signify our highest holy day here at WTS - The Met Gala! This year's theme was to be About Time: Fashion and Duration and I was extremely excited to see what co-chairs Nicolas Ghesquière (of Louis Vuitton), Meryl Streep (of Meryl Streep), Emma Stone (of my mom saying she has mean eyes), and Lin-Manuel Miranda (of Drunk History) had up their Anna Wintour-shaped sleeves. Alas, we will not be able to rip apart the celebrity fashions this year like Jared Leto ripped apart his own head and carried it under his arm last year.

I thought about running down my favorite Met Gala looks of all time, like some of the other blogs are doing but decided on something more fun: Why not throw our own Met Gala right here on Way Too Shay? With the help of some reader volunteers, we are doing just that! Thank you always for reading this silly thing but a special thank you today to those who sent in their best Met Gala looks. As you are about to see they are all amazing.

The brief was this: I don't wanna get sued so we're purposely misinterpreting the purpose of About Time: Fashion and Duration. Pick a favorite time travel book/movie/comic/tv show/WHATEVER and make it fashion. I'm going to list myself first so none of these dear readers have to be the thumbnail on the site or facebook. 

Meg! (that's me)
My inspiration was the moment in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban when Hermione sees herself and says, "Is that really what my hair looks like from the back?" BUT MAKE IT FASHION. Please note the two time turners.

Mystery Met Gala Guest!
Reader Tamanya submitted this photo of a mystery Met Gala guest channeling both Back to the Future II and Deadpool 2 BUT MAKE IT FASHION! It's a home run. Can you believe they brought a DeLorean and a hover board to the Met Gala? Gaga could never.

Reader Katya!

The Neverending Story (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) BUT MAKE IT FASHION. Stunning and impressive that she actually has fresh produce! Here's the inspiration:
Nailed it!

Readers Laura and Philip!
The inspiration behind this look is "what if Hogwarts students could go back in time to attend a special event?" AND IT'S VERY FASHION! Laou and Philip are looking chic in their house colors, no matter what the era!

Reader Nicole!
We just had to get a close up on the excellent Groundhog's Day inspired details here. Amazing! Look for these custom earrings in every high end boutique the minute they are allowed to open again! Well done.

Reader Nancy!
Beautifully evoking the classic time travel flick Peggy Sue Got Married! I gave her a glass of champagne instead of her phone and also accidentally lopped off a foot. (The truth is I downloaded photoshop yesterday just to do this and gave everyone footectomies. Awkwafina is jealous.) Anyway, Nancy captured the Kathleen Turner of it all perfectly!

Readers Mark and Robin!
With an inspiration from Hot Tub Time Machine 2, Mark and Robin get the award for INTERNATIONAL PARTICIPATION! Thank you for being stunning on the red carpet all the way from Turkey! Wow! Here is the inspiration:
Spot on!

Reader Jackie!
Also known as my Mom! Drawing inspiration from Midnight in Paris, she looks beautiful "caught sneaking out of a gallery!" Sunglasses are a must on the red carpet! Thank you for playing, Momela.

Reader Regina!
Channeling Phryne Fisher, Gina showed this red carpet who's boss, discarding her faux fur wrap to reveal a vampy velvet gown. But that's not all! She got halfway up the stairs and gave us another shoe option! 
The versatility!

Reader Bon!
Bon celebrates the moment when Superman flew so fast he reversed the spin of the earth - doing it in style! Man of Blue Steel, am I right?
Love when we get a Philadelphia shout out on the red carpet! Also shout out to Bon for casually having a cape at home! 

Reader Lois!
Reader Lois looks chic as hell channeling Witness. "Time travel is not literal. Hardscrabble detective John Book flees gritty Philadelphia in 1984 and finds himself in Lancaster County circa 1850." Two things of note: 1.) Lois makes good on her frequent red carpet critique of trendy tuxes and wears a cummerbund! 2.) Because of the film Witness I refuse to use the bathroom at 30th Street Station!

Reader KC!
Giving you "modern regency" for the gods the house down boots and other appropriated phrases! I am deeply feeling the cut of this jeans jacket, especially with this gown. Awesome.

Reader Alison!
Reader Alison brought her own backdrop for maximum Met Gala extraness - but don't worry, the photogs were still right there! With inspiration from Hot Tub Time Machine, Alison recreated her own 6th grade dance look! I think we can all agree that she was the most stylish middle schooler ever! Photo and background design by the inimitable Max. Fantastic.

Reader Holly!
Dual looks on the red carpet from Holly, wow! With inspiration from Pleasantville, Holly gives us a fabulous black and white look WITH SECRET PANTS! My favorite! And then follows it up with a vintage "in color" look complete with accessories passed down from her grandmother. Bringing the family jewels to the red carpet is always in vogue.

Readers Morgan and Brett and non-reader HoneyBelle!
Reader Morgan is giving us full robot hitch hiking through the galaxy, looking very fly while doing so. Also, again, shout out to the casual robot costume put together for this!
Reader Brett is serving you "every bad sci fi movie where we wear jumpsuits" but truly MAKING IT FASHION with the cool addition of mask and hat. And because the family that slays together stays together....
I think we can all agree that HoneyBelle ran away with the entire Met Gala! Amazing look, HB! 

Reader Ali!
Styling by Reader Laura! Channeling Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Ali even has a headpiece made of telephone antennae. She says that she is channeling Bill and Ted AND also the babes. I think I speak for everyone when I say that not only San Dimas High School football rules, Ali rules! 

Reader Amanda!
Reader Amanda goes all out to bring you Mrs. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus and MAKES IT FASHION. What's more, I have some inside information that Amanda is wearing a dress she made her freshman year of high school in her hair - and it looks great! If that is not Mrs. Frizzle, I don't know what is! 

Reader Jean!
Jean is bringing the drama of all 12 Monkeys to the red carpet and looking stunning doing so! Here's some closeup on the monkey details in the cape!
Amazing work.

Reader Danielle!
Wowing the crowd, fully inspired by Al from Quantum Leap completely with Ziggy Handlink purse! Danielle is not messing around this Met Gala, clearly! So good.

Reader Jenna the First!
Well would you look at that, it's Billy Pilgrim unstuck in time! Jenna is giving you all the Vonnegut high fashion moments you can handle! Work.

Reader Jenna The Second!
Jenna (second only chronologically) took inspiration for her beautiful look from The Time-Traveling Fashionista and Cleopatra, Queen of the Nile, a book she recommends to all. She and I consulted and agreed that the arm cuff negates a need for a necklace. Lovely!

Reader Jamie!
According to amazingly coordinated Reader Jamie, the inspiration for this great look is "Hot Tub Time Machine + Coronably to take us back to before SARS 2: everyone hates a sequel." Too true! Also, please someone tell Billy Porter that Jamie wore an actual hot tub to the Met Gala so he can try to top that next year - but yeah right because this is epic! Photo by Stacey Simons!

Reader Karen!
Reader Karen channels happier times earlier this year, when Maya Rudolph blessed the Oscars in her orange gown with green earrings. (I gave her champagne in place of her phone because Karen deserves champagne.) I have it on good authority that these amazing shoes were purchased for the express purpose of wearing them to a PTA meeting. Killing it! Here's the inspiration (as if you forgot)...
Every day is a good day to refuse to wear spanx. 

Reader Jenny!
In custom couture (made by here stepmom), Jenny brings you beautiful Austen flair. Her inspiration? "Miss Elizabeth Bennett sat in the carriage and got wrinkled but she doesn't care. She only went for her sister Jane." LET'S TALK ABOUT SITTING IN THE LIMO, RIGHT!?!?!? Amazing!

Reader Kristen!
Kristen drew inspiration from Guy Pearce in The Time Machine but let me just say Guy Pearce WISHES! So stylish, so fly - and loving the glasses options here.

Reader Maggie!
Jean-Luc Picard but MAKE IT SO FASHION! I've got to be totally honest - this knocked my socks off! The bald cap! I did not expect anyone to do Met Gala Picard but oh wow am I so glad Maggie did this. 

Readers Kate and Lori!
Bringing the photographers with them all the way to their own personal version of The Lake House, Kate and Lori really know how to turn heads and warm hearts! I am absolutely in love with the dedication here. From the stars of the shoot: "Lori and Kate are separated by two years and only able to communicate through a magic mailbox. Kate’s ensemble is  from her private collection, Lori’s ensemble is her bedroom curtain. Letters written by Alex and Gabriel T. Mailbox stand by Clayton T. Shot on location at John Heinz Wildlife Refuge*. (*social distancing rules strictly followed)." We are not worthy! 

Reader Alex!
Rounding out our Met Gala coverage with this photo by Reader Steph. "When you're an apex predator but want to feel fancy and dressed-up when you go and chow down on a hadrosaur. A black sports jacket never goes out of style." I couldn't have said it better myself. 

Thank you all for playing along and for all of the reader submissions. You are all amazing and beautiful and good sports.