Emmy Awards 2014 Fashion Rundown: The Good

Woof, that was one boring Emmys huh? Everything was the same - winners, jokes, nominees - well, everything except the fashion. THANK GOD. Or maybe I don't mean that? There was a lot of beach hair (Beyonce, what have you done?), lots of white or nude dresses (boo), some capes (yay), and a couple of midriffs because of course there were. 

THE GOOD!

Mayim Bialik!

MOST IMPROVED! Oh my god, I love this. I love the color, love the shape, love the necklace. Blossom, thank you for making me so happy!

Teyonah Parris!

Fabulous, fun, and unexpected. 

Sarah Silverman!

Certainly a bit more on the expected side, but Sarah Silverman has been hitting the Good pile a lot lately, huh? Maybe a new stylist? I'm loving the belt detail and the, uh, neckline on this. Also loving Sarah Silverman for staying true to herself by being a menace on the red carpet and sprinting up to the stage barefoot when she won. In that moment, I'll admit, I was impressed most of all by her boob tape.

Hayden Panetierre!

I had no idea she was pregnant. She looks FANTASTIC, no? Great hair, great makeup, great dress. Well done, young lady! What a difference from a few years ago.

Matt Bomer!

I don't have much to say about this. It's fairly perfect if a little standard. Also he is pretty.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus!

I don't have much to say about this. It's fairly perfect if a little standard. Also she is pretty. 

Sofia Vergara!

She's beautiful, the dress is stunning (even if she did sit down in the limo (for shame)), and I like the accessories... but... it's kind of like she's doing a drag version of herself now, right? Always with the same silhouettes, always the same colors. Mix it up, Sofia! Ps, never let anyone else talk you into gross misogynist skits like that turntable thing.

Octavia Spencer!

Loved this and it looked especially great on camera. Don't love the bag, but let's not quibble. She looks gorgeous.

Alison Williams!

Against all odds, one of my favorite looks of the night. I think it's the pop of yellow there and the clean styling. Much improved, Alison!

Natalie Dormer!

Some of the better beach waves seen last night. I love how simple this dress is, yet how interesting. Truth, though - I think I'd probably hate it if her hair was up. I have a feeling we have an athletic neckline under the tresses.

Christine Baranski!

As I have now said to multiple friends - girl, you know I love a cape. It's true. I really do love a good cape. This is basically perfect. I might have tried it with a long strand of beads but maybe that would have been too much.

Laverne Cox!

Speaking of a good cape - this was a great one. Laverne Cox is everything. She is an angel put on earth to teach us how to love. 

La Klum!

And fabulous cape #3. I guess this is more of a capelet, but that's okay! Capelets are also welcome in my neighborhood. She looks stunning and perfect.

Melissa McCarthy!

Our Melissa has had some red carpet difficulties in the past year, so I want to reward a major step in the right direction. Yes, Melissa, this! Gorgeous! Next try a color and we'll be golden. 

January Jones!

This is like the perfect blend of my taste with January Jones' taste. It's got the couture flavor she loves and the elegance I crave. I dislike mullet dresses but love those shoes so much I'd hate to miss seeing them. CUAN, but let's not fight. Not today.

Felicity Huffman!

Graceful, elegant, perfect fit, awesome bag. Needs lipstick.

Kiernan Shipka!

Once again out-dressing stars and starlets double her age. It's even better from the side. Kid, all of my future fashion dreams ride on your tiny little shoulders. Well, you and Hailee Steinfeld.

Carrie Brownstein (seen here with Fred Armisen)!

I'm sorry I couldn't get a better photo of her dress. I love the dress, but I actually chose this photo because it looks like the guy on the left is on one of those tin can phones. Delightful.

Jessica Pare!

She makes it look so easy. If a mere mortal tried to wear this dress, she'd look hippy and cankley. Jessica Pare is no mere mortal, I guess.

Kate Mulgrew!

From Helen Mirren's "I'm Perfect And You're Not" collection, I assume. Stunning, Red/Janeway, just stunning.

Uzo Aduba!

Hands down best look of the night in my book. Great shape, stunning detail on the train, great color, lovely styling. CUAN, for sure, but Uzo owned the "I am not the character I play" game last night. Fabulous and fierce, as her designer Sister Christian would once have said. Ferosh, even.

annnnnnnnnnnd a little more pretty for you....

Chiwetel Ejiofor!

Yowza. Forever yowza.

A Very Mini VMA 2014 Red Carpet Rundown

Tonight, dear readers, is the weird outlier of the awards season: The Emmys. Why are they not during actual awards season? Why are they happening on a Monday? The mind boggles. Because of the Emmys I don't usually address the VMAs but then some things happened and I couldn't not address the VMAs. You know of which I speak... and if you don't, you will soon. This is a very very very mini rundown, basically consisting of only those frocks which cannot be ignored. Lets get to it, shall we?

I Cannot Ignore JLo Being JLo!

It's the VMAs, so she looks like the classiest diamond bondage model of all time. But let's be real: this could have very well turned up at the Golden Globes. Girl, keep being you.

I Cannot Ignore Taylor Swift Forgetting Her Skirt/Pants!

Sweet thing, you're like 22. No need to go full Liza/Elaine Stritch just yet. Also, that getup looks entirely uncomfortable. (I'll admit this: I just wrote "uncomfortunate" which is my new portmanteau for uncomfortable and unfortunate. OWNING IT. Uncomfortunate forevermore.)

I Cannot Ignore Kim Kardashian Wearing Two Throw Rugs as a Dress!

Paired with macrame shoes and miles of boob tape. Too bad if she tries to fix her hair it's immediately tits ahoy for our Kim.

I Cannot Ignore Ke$ha Looking .... Amazing?!

My Little Pony hair aside, up is down, left is right, and Ke$ha looks absolutely stunning amazing holy cow incredible. WHERE DO YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF TO BE, YOUNG LADY?! There is no need to looks this put together at an event where attendees routinely wear pasties and meat.

I SERIOUSLY CANNOT IGNORE THE BEST HOMAGE TO THE GREATEST MOMENT IN POP STAR FASHION HISTORY!!!!!

1000 points to Katy Perry and this Riff Raff person for bringing the Way Too Shay cover models back onto the red carpet. May God bless and keep you, Katy Perry. You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream. 

2014 World Cup Coaches Fashion Rundown!

I cannot believe I'm saying this but BY POPULAR DEMAND I now give you the Way Too Shay fashion rundown of the 2014 World Cup coaches on the sidelines. Or field. Or whatever you say in soccer.

TRUE FACTS: My boyfriend is a big soccer dude and is totally into World Cup (for those wondering, he supports USA, England, and Germany) (apparently you say "supports" in soccer) (or whatever). Because of this, I have seen more than 20 minutes of soccer lately and it's not that bad. It will never be football to me, of course, but it's kind of fun. I've definitely noticed something, though... 

Football Coach:

Futbol Coach:

In short, these are some dapper gentlemen on the sidelines of soccer games  matches! Since I know nothing about any of this, we'll just go by country, yes? (PS, I'm sure I didn't get everyone, but here's a pretty nice sampling.)

Italy!

Nice fit to the jacket... roomy enough for contemplative arm crossing if necessary, but not pulling. Very Italian.

Spain!

A less successful fit in the jacket, but a moustache to be feared and envied. I would go with a deeper green tie next time - this color just washes him out.

Ivory Coast!

Very intense with the jacket, vest, and no tie. Let's see a slightly more casual sideline look...

Very nice, though I hate the collar. This is a coach who can rock a skinny tie. Well done, Ivory Coast.

Russia!

While I appreciate the choice of a grey shirt over white, this shade of grey doesn't quite mesh with the color and fabric of the jacket. Also, those are the wrong frames for his face.

Costa Rica!

The fit is off and the colors for tie and shirt are ROUGH. 

Germany!

Germany's coach favors a more relaxed sideline look, complete with watch AND fitbit. Unfortunately, this is his real hair. More unfortunately, if he were to move his hands, his head would completely detach from his body and roll away. It's not a risk Mr. Germany is willing to take.

Uruguay!

The pants are a little roomy but I have no other complaints. Uruguay, you suave MFer.

Greece!

Anthony Bourdain coaches the Greek soccer team.

Argentina!

Tie tacks can be your friend, sir! And haircuts.

The Netherlands!

Even though he's got some crazy Tom Wilkinson Playing Some Intense Character hair, I have to acknowledge and appreciate the beauty of the navy suit with perfect orange tie. It's a gorgeous look.

USA!

Almost every other coach is in a suit and this guy shows up in slacks and a polo. Isn't that just the story of America?

England!

This is the most British-looking man I've ever seen outside of Mr. Bean. Also, the tie is a disaster.

Algeria!

A silver tie is almost never your friend, gentlemen. Almost never.

Nigeria!

Quite literally, this is the only person who actually looks like he's coaching something. It's the jacket. And maybe a little bit of the yelling/dude curled at his feet. But mostly the jacket.

France!

France coach is my #2 hunk coach of the World Cup. Love that navy suit - LOVE the hem on it. He's walking and it still looks appropriate, bless.

Ecuador!

"But what about me?" says Ecuador. "Am I your #1 hunk coach?" No, Ecuador, you are not. Mostly because your suit is far far far too big on you. 

Cameroon!

Cameroon just sort of looks drunk most of the time...

No, seriously.

Belgium!

Rethink the length of your sideburns, Belgium.

Honduras!

I absolutely adore this guy. He looks fantastic, the tie is pretty edgy for what we've seen on the sidelines here, and he seems like such a lovable curmudgeon. 

............Ladies?

Brazil!

This is far too casual and ill-fitting, Brazil. You actually make USA look suave and that's ... not good. In the sportswear section of today's rundown, Nigeria gets first prize, I guess USA comes next, and then this sad getup. Cameroon, I award you no points.

Croatia!

Yo, Croatia's coach is FINE.

Yeah, keep coaching. Just like that. Mmmhmmm.

Croatia's coach is like Jon Stewart plus Joseph Gordon Levitt plus a little bit of Breckin Meyer with just a dash of Crispin Glover. I love you, Croatia's coach - you are my #1 hunk coach and your suits fit really well. But, you will never have my heart like...

Mexico!

I absolutely love this guy. His bright tie, his awesome hair, his facial expressions... he's unbelievably animated and amazing.

He also may or may not live in a van down by the river.